The Children We Despise

There is a trend with young mothers right now who scoff and resist when their elders suggest they are going to miss this season of life.  For the most part, all parties are well-meaning and the argument (if you'd even call it that) doesn't need to be rehashed.  However, it highlights something we don't talk about.

There are children or times in our children's lives that we find ourselves despising these precious gifts.  It's not that we hate children or wish them harm, but feelings of resentment or harsh criticism repeatedly bubble to the top.  We don't like it and in some cases would NEVER admit it (because that would mean being a monster who didn't deserve to have children, right?), but in the silence of our closets when deciding on which piece of clothing you hate the least that day, you can't deny the volcano ready to erupt around this child/these children.

Sometimes it is a personality conflict - sometimes those precious daughters are just. like. YOU.  Other times it's a simple problem of more energy going out than coming in and anyone needing anything from you becomes your enemy.  Other times a mom just can't seem to make sense of this little boy who is trying to find his way to manhood.  The reasons can be as complex and unique as the children and may not really matter all that much at the end of the day.

The most important thing to remember when you find yourself struggling to love these little souls the way Jesus does is that these feelings are simply a signal - a notification, if you will.  This bubbling eruption is telling you that you need care in some way.  Sure, it is also a sign that your child needs care too, but that won't happen adequately until your attitude and head space is right. We are just human and parenting is a lot in this fast-forward, social-media perfect culture.  If you aren't feeding your soul and keeping your perspective healthy on a regular basis, then of course overwhelming feelings of resentment are likely to set up shop in our hearts.

When you're stuck in a cycle of exasperation, remember this.  We all respond better when we feel safe, heard and cared for.  That includes you!  Do you have a safe space to talk when you need it?  Are you making more healthy choices than not on a regular basis?  Are you spending enough time outdoors, something that is super important to mental health?  If your answer is no to all three, you need to do something about it!  I read a quote recently about the quality of the fruit depending on the health of the tree.  As a parent, you are life-giving tree and if you are crumbling you are likely to sour those around you.  Do you know a parent who is desperate need of care?  Help them out with a free night of babysitting or going on an evening walk.  Something to help us get our heads on straight so that we don't turn into volcanoes! 

Hiking: The Best Family Hobby

When someone says hiking, you might envision someone climbing a mountain or backpacking on a trail for a couple of days.  Both would be consider hiking, but not the entirety of what I'm talking about.  Most places you find yourself, whether living or on vacation, are within 30 minutes of a state park or wildlife refuge that contain trails meant to be used.  These trails are typically well-maintained and difficulty level well advertised.  Most parks are free admission and have bathroom access in the vicinity.  For a family of 5, free entertainment is the way to go any time you can get it!

A few of you have already written me off right now, because you feel hiking aka 'going outside and getting gross' isn't for you.  Why would you do that to yourself, right? Well, let me tell you why.

The Relationships.  Spending time - not staring at a screen - with people (especially your family) is invaluable.  Mr. Butler and I have learned a lot of life lessons together on hikes.  My family's personalities and tendencies have a habit of playing out on hikes.  We get to know each other and learn to work together while hiking.  Most relationships can sustain a walk on a trail so this is something they have done with friends, grandparents, cousins, etc.  Taking a walk together is bonding time!  There's nothing more fulfilling than to see your family's relationships grow and flourish.  Activities like this is exactly the type of memories we want to have!

Brothers resting together.

Health.  This is a fact and not something to be ignored or argued with.  Going outside in nature AND being physically active on a regular basis is good for your body and mind.  We are a disease-ridden and anxious society that needs more healthy activities.  Period. 

View from Mather Lodge, Petit Jean State Park, Arkansas

Perspective.  While the physical structures of man have much to appreciate sometimes, what God created and continues to cry out praises to the Living God - well that's a horse of a different  color, you might say.  When you stand next to a beautiful mountain or get lose in miles of forest, you begin to gain a perspective not available anywhere else.  It isn't the same watching it on a screen or taking a walk on the treadmill.  It can change you, if you'll let it.

This hike turned out to be longer and more strenuous than we expected so we were beat by the end.  This was our despair towards Mr. Butler for pushing us!  But we felt amazing once we cooled off.

Education.  There is a lot of history in some of these parks!  Between wildlife, horticulture and the beginnings of the individual place, there's a wealth of information to be gained when you read a historical marker or pick up a park guide.  This is certainly a big perk for homeschooling families!

We have taken our kids hiking since they were babies and its now their favorite vacation activity! If you or your family might be a resistant to this new hobby, my advice is to make it non-negotiable for the first 5 times.  Once you experience the positive effects and enjoyment that is available, it will be easier to maintain a good attitude.  Oh, and snacks! Always bring plenty of water and snacks for the complaint moments.  Usually, we're just tired and hungry.  :) 

The kids love having their own packs with water built in.

Quit Feeling Bad About Your Life Because of a Picture

We're not all the same.  We don't all get the same upbringing or opportunities.  Some choices work out, others don't.  Some bodies are built for certain kinds of work, others aren't.  When it comes to health and education, I am an advocate for one size NOT fitting everyone.  It is impossible to get great results when treating everyone the same. 

Having said that, I also need to be reminded that I am not alone in my struggles.  Different than others yes, but not alone.  You may not struggle with brain exhaustion or being easily overwhelmed like I am, but there are things in your life that you have/will struggle(d) with.  And to that point, we have that in common.  The fun and even artistic side of social media tricks us into thinking that one great photo indicates the way of a life.  Did you ever see a painting and think, "Wow, that artist must paint perfectly all the time and never have to practice!"  Not likely.

I just turned 39, so it's been about 20 years since I was in the adolescent hay-day.  Recently, I did a lot of reminiscing with my parents about how our various friends and acquaintances' lives from our youth have turned out.  And, ya know what? As a teenager, it feels VERY clear who really has it together and who is insignificant.  Even when you think you're a down to earth, good person, adolescence lies.  So many times, the popular, everyone's favorite person didn't do too well or ended up with a really rough situation.  The one you didn't appreciate maybe, turns out they really did life well.  Sure, there are a lot of reasons why people's lives go the way they do, but the point is, none of us can see the future.  Don't make judgments on yourself based on a comparison of others one moment in time.  It is practically useless. 

Life is complicated and requires maintenance.  I can post a photo every week of a clean room, dressed up people, and smiles all around, but that photo doesn't somehow eliminate yelling, crying, stains, or messes the rest of the week.  That weekly photo just might be a sanity saver of mine so that I don't completely throw in the towel when everything is a mess inside and out. The voice in our head can easily lie if we don't educate it better.  The next time you're scrolling through Instagram or Facebook, keep these thoughts in mind.

• Everyone struggles somewhere, sometime.
• Your weaknesses might be their strengths (and vice versa).
• You have a LOT to be thankful for.  Focus on that!
• Be joyful for others.  Be content with yourself. Be motivated to grow. Be real.
• God can/will use you and all your struggles, sometimes more than your successes.

The Hard Things Are Worth It

It has been said that ending your shower with a burst of cold water can invigorate you and even prompt an endorphin rush.  I've tried it before and it's true - you end up feeling energized! But sacrificing that cozy warm shower for the almost painful ice cold one is hard.  I know it will have a good result, but that doesn't make the choice to do it an easy one.  A lot of things that are good for us in the long run are hard to get started.

The commercial culture we're bombarded with daily sends the message that we should never have to do hard things and that convenience should rule.  Reality teaches the exact opposite, if we bother to listen.  Worthwhile things like health, financial stability, solid relationships, raising kids to be an asset to society, and honing any craft there is takes work, commitment and are classified as hard things.  Being sick, broke, alone, raising jerks and having no skills is easy.  Look around you. That describes a lot of our world today.  The easy things in life usually result in junk. 

This puzzle was a doozy and I knew it was a little too hard for the kids to do it by themselves, but that didn't deter them.  It just meant they asked for help.  We all chipped in over the course of a few days and when it was finished it, they were so proud.  It struck me that they never really considered it being 'too hard' as a bad thing, just a reality that we adjusted for.  If you know my son and his burdensome view of math, you know that they aren't always so pure, but in that moment they illustrated a  beautiful perspective that we can all learn from.  Hard things are doable with a little bit of help and commitment.  Not only are they doable but they are worth it! 

I don't know what the hard things are in your life, but what if you didn't immediately think of them as hard?  What if our first response was that this is something I need some help with to accomplish and nothing more? Marriage is one of those things that is easy to give up on when you think you have an easy out.  Living with the knowledge that God didn't design marriage with divorce in mind creates a wall that says it just isn't an option.  When both parties live that way, it's amazing the things you can work through and thrive amidst.  Marriage is really hard, but completely doable!

I know there are so many with real hardships and burdens they are carrying.  As spectators we can easily get caught up in complaining about the lazy or shallow living.  Instead, let's bring light to those who do really hard jobs and do them well! Celebrate the committed and the trustworthy!

I'd Rather Be Fat Than Crazy: A Farewell Note to 2017

For 8 months I had mostly refused to buy myself any clothes.  The days and months after having a baby are full of change and uncertainty.   I had been down this road before and my bulging closet was proof of the varying sizes I had been over the last 7 years.  Why should I waste the money? I had lost weight before and would get where I wanted to be eventually.  What I had should cover my needs.  But my little race car's pregnancy was almost entirely different than the others and that included my weight gain.  I carried him differently and thus gained more weight in certain areas and not as much in others.  Plus, he was 10 pounds!  That meant more skin stretched further and more time for it to return to 'normal' if that's even possible!  Weight-loss this time around was more complicated because of stress, more physical healing, and three kids!  Tired of my fits of frustration while getting ready to go anywhere, Mr. Butler finally insisted that I go buy clothes that fit and would make me comfortable.

So, as I tried on clothes in the dressing room of Kohl's, I found myself repeating, "I'd rather be fat than crazy.  I'd rather be fat than crazy." over and over in my head.   Everything was either too big up top or too small on the bottom so dresses seemed to be out of the question. My pride screamed at me that I should be further along than I was in my weight-loss and recovery, but if there is one thing I gained this last year it's perspective.  About a year after miss Z was born, I physically and emotionally burned out.  In a nut-shell, I was overcome with sometimes immobilizing and unreasonable anxiety.  I remember being so afraid that I would never be able to enjoy my kids or even be up to having another one because of the hold it all had on me.  Fast forward 3 years and through the year we just had - full of stress, loss, challenges, but nothing like the problems I had before - and I can see things much clearer.   

I hate being uncomfortable in my own skin.  The extra weight just serves as a  reminder of the unhealthy side effects of stress, sleep deprivation and life changes.  All of this can be such a tool of the devil in my life.  I think all the insecurity of life that most people can feel is the devil's biggest tool sometimes.  But in the day to day, satan is defeated with perspective. Yes, I couldn't fit into things the same way yet, but I wasn't terrified of getting out of bed.  I was able to enjoy my kiddos and think clearly and sanely.

This year gave me the most fun, lovable, and good-natured little boy I have ever met.  Seriously, my race car is always looking for someone to smile at!  Not only that, but he is 100% healthy after a scare early on.  I survived the death of one of my dogs.  Not a big deal to most, but it was a day that I had dreaded since we brought Grace home almost 11 years ago.  This year was a huge financial burden, but it could have been so much worse.  I wish I was skinnier.  I wish we had never had to spend the second week of the race car's life in the hospital.  I wish my dog was still alive and chasing frisbees.  I wish our savings were built up rather than being drained by medical bills and car purchases. But I'd rather be afloat, than drowning in debt.  I'd rather be grieving a sweet dog than causing her pain and suffering.  I'd rather have an emergency room experience than risk the health of a fantastic little soul. And yes, I'd rather be fat than crazy!

Our perception (and opinion) of ourselves is such a complicated and fleeting thing.  In some ways, it just doesn't matter, but in other ways, if it's not satisfactory, it can change the course of our life.  I found clothes that fit and that made me more comfortable.  So go me, I guess, but more importantly it allowed me to recognize how we cope with the ugly and hard things in life.  There are days, months and in our case years of life that are full of exactly what we never wanted.  So then what?  We can quit and let the devil ruin the good gifts the Lord brings.  Or we can be thankful for what is and wait patiently for the good the Lord is bringing through it all.  As 2018 closes, I think of it like that high school nemesis that was always beating you out of things.  2017 was just wretched to me, but without it, there are so many things I would not have gained.  So for that, I say a fond farewell to 2017.

Look Who You're Talking To!

There are times in life when we need answers.  Making decisions is a big deal and seeking out someone else's perspective can be invaluable.  Sometimes though we must consider the source.  Mr. Butler was telling me about an exchange that went something like this.  Mr. Butler, referring to buying football season tickets, says, "I just can't see spending the money on it, ya know?" Other guy says, "Nah. It's only $2400 a year."  See, this other guy clearly makes plenty of money and $2400 isn't that much by comparison.  But if my income is significantly lower than this guy's it would be terribly foolish for me to follow his example and invest in season tickets when I'm struggling to pay rent.

Another example.  If I am someone looking to lose weight, have never dieted or exercised before, but find the skinniest person I know and ask them how they stay so skinny, I'm likely to get a very inappropriate answer for myself.  If I follow their lead and do nothing (because those high metabolism kids usually don't do anything for at least 35 years), I've made a foolish move.  Change the category, but the story is the same.  Don't take parenting advice from those without kids.  Don't seek marital advice from the guy who can't get a date or keep a plant alive.  Don't take spiritual advice from the devil.

When trouble hits, we often want to feel better about it all.  There's nothing wrong with that, but often the advice we need to hear is not from the feel good fellas.  Should you take out a loan to get a new wardrobe for that job you haven't exactly landed yet?  Don't ask the guy who is living in his mom's basement, playing video games and taking some time to find himself.

Consider your source and their perspective.  There are plenty of perspectives, some of which are 100% unhelpful to your situation.  Be mindful of who you are asking questions of.  Look for the people who have successfully done what you are trying to do or can understand the direction you are coming from.  It seems like a simple reminder, but I get caught up in just talking sometimes that I don't consider who it is I'm expecting to contribute to the discussion and whether or not that really makes sense.

A Lesson on Enthusiasm

There are days when the maddening nature of the to-do list gets to me and I would really like to just be left alone!  The victim in me screams at every new expectation that comes into view and collapses into a pitiful mess that can be pretty ugly.  It was in this state that J walks into the kitchen as I'm cooking dinner and says, "What are we having? Are you going to make a salad?" To which I reply with a sigh, "I don't know. I haven't really decided yet.  I'm pretty tired."  I knew we probably needed one, but hadn't made up my mind to spend the energy yet.  As I'm contemplating it all, J says "I'll 

do it.  I need a cutting board."  Before I could even argue with him, he was well on his way making a salad.  Now, granted, this kid loves his salad, but more notable is his enthusiasm to learn and to help, especially in the kitchen.  He definitely humbled this momma.

We all get tired and unenthusiastic sometimes because life is heavy.  Today, though, I was reminded by this rambunctious 5 year old that it all starts in your attitude and perspective.  When we believe there is more to learn and experience, then we can face it with a smile! I suggested at dinner that maybe J should be a chef and he said, "Maybe.  Or a horse man."  The kid loves his horses.

The kids came out the other day all dressed up.

Healthy Choices Matter: Let's Be Well

If you are a local friend of mine or follow on Facebook, you've probably heard me mention my association with IN.FORM through my work with The Herb Garden.  It is a weight-loss program put together by Nature's Sunshine that works and promotes health, not just a smaller waste.  If you are interested in more information about it, let me know.  That isn't the purpose of this post though.  I want to talk about how the choices we make with our body (and as parents our children's bodies) has a direct effect on their health, sometimes long-lasting, even if it feels like it shouldn't matter so much.

In the realm of health, medicine or science, there is a lot that I don't know and am never intending to diagnose or cure anyone.  Every circumstance is different and there is no way I could or should expect my thoughts to apply everywhere.  I have had a lot of experience and exposure through my own health, the health of my children and my work with The Herb Garden that has convicted me of some important things that the average American either does not know, acknowledge or put into practice.

Dinner time is one of our favorites!

With so much disease that often doesn't make sense, it behooves us to remedy the issues that clearly do make sense.  Let's do what we can!

Weight-gain is a health risk, not a body shaming opportunity.  At best, we all have different ideal weights.  Our genes decide how big our bones are, so we are never supposed to be the same size as whoever the chosen queen or king of culture is today.  How good or bad we look AND how much we care about that, is largely up to us.  Regardless of that, unhealthy weight-gain is a health risk.  That means it changes the way our body works.  From little things like shortness of breath and tiredness to a greater risk of diabetes, stroke, cancer and depression.  How you eat and how little you move can, in some cases be the deciding factors between developing these diseases or not.  If that applied to you or your family member, why wouldn't you make some changes?

What you eat directly effects how well your body works.  It is common in our culture to get cranky and rebellious about diets or some nut job trying to tell us how to live our lives.  It is common, but it doesn't benefit us or our families.  How many vegetables you eat in a day determines how many vitamins and minerals your body gets.  The levels of nutrients your body maintains impacts your immune system which often determines whether or not you get every cold in a 5 mile radius.  Or things like skipping breakfast and trying to work until lunch on nothing but a donut.  Protein is involved in EVERYTHING in your body, so not getting enough can lead to increased infections, irritability, weakness, loss of muscle and certainly hurts brain activity.  Not the best plan before a test or big meeting.  Now don't get me wrong, everyone is different and therefore effected differently by different foods, meal times, etc.  But, once you start paying attention, you can tell what foods helps you live a better life and what perpetuates health problems and bad habits.  And with your children, they are often even less equipped to understand the messages their body is sending them.  It's our job to teach them.

                                           

Where there is disease or a health issue, a change in diet or lifestyle has to be made to see great improvement.  From the big diseases like cancer and heart disease all the way down to allergies and respiratory conditions, if you are hoping for improvement, the very least you need to be doing is eating a colorful healthy diet and moving!  Especially children that struggle with asthma or crazy allergic reactions, in general a change in diet and lifestyle can go a long way in correcting struggles like this.  And in case you didn't know, sugar is in everything and in the doses we typically get, sugar makes everything worse.  Sad story, but undeniable fact.


We all have different struggles and different priorities, but feeling well enough to do the things we love is probably something we share.  I love the herbal remedies and nutritional education I've received through The Herb Garden and Nature's Sunshine, but even if you don't share that appreciation, cooking and eating at home, drinking more clean water, including more veggies and healthy fats, and making physical activity part of your life are simple straight-forward things that will change your life!  And just imagine if our children and grandchildren grew up understanding how valuable wise choices about their food and activity were!

It's easy to dismiss things like eating better and moving more as 'not that big of a deal' or 'not the most important thing'.  And I get that.  It is hard.  And making healthy choices doesn't always fit right away with your budget or schedule and it doesn't feel like it should matter so much.  But when there is hardly a person who doesn't have a major health complaint or major disruption to their life because they can't get out of bed or they are depressed or they are just in so much pain or they can't focus or breathe or cancer is continuing to show up everywhere - It is just becoming very clear that like it or not, it DOES matter.  Moderation, absolutely.  Enjoy your food - YES! But living like it doesn't matter and then wondering why our bodies seem to be against us, well that just isn't wise.  None of us can control the genes we were given or be master of all environments or circumstances, so health issues will come.  I just hope we can all understand more how our choices can benefit or hurt those issues.

When Failures Come

The moment life blows up in your face presents a whirlwind of options.  How do you react?  Where is the next step?  What keeps you from quitting altogether? I don't exactly know.  But Mahatma Ghandi had something helpful to say:

"My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents and I lay them both at his feet."

Whatever the hurt, whatever the consequence, if it results in seeking God in more humility and more sincerity then it can all be called a blessing.

Both Sides of the Bandwagon

Have you ever had a paradigm shift?  An Aha! moment?  Been convicted by a cause or a need?  Aren't they wonderful? A new realization that you've been missing all this time!  A calling for your life or a new direction to choose with passion!  That's great!  Becoming so passionate and so convicted that you began telling everyone you know about it?  That's great too!

But fast forward just a bit.  Have you encountered friends and family that are supportive, but otherwise unaffected?  Have you grown frustrated and possibly angry with them for not seeing this as life changing as you are?  Or worse, they don't get it at all and are now avoiding you.  And then in walks the judgement, the superiority and maybe pity for not being at your level.

We've all been there.  Sometimes, as it turns out, we are right about it all.  Sometimes, though, we're just getting caught up in a fad or mislead or confused.  Time tells either way.

I believe in causes.  I believe in change and growth.  The danger is how we treat people in the process.  We rarely get everything right the first time and even if we did, that's no justification for shoving everyone that doesn't agree with you or see what you (maybe think) you see into the reject pile.  And let's be honest here - we all have personal revelations from time to time and at least half the time they aren't new or not even on target.  We are all fallible, so get rid of the smug faces and the condescending glances.  If you're right, time will tell.  You don't have to be ugly about it.

And when we are on the other side - when we don't see what the fuss is about or we think they've lost their mind - there's still no reason to be ugly about it.  Hear them out, consider if it's valuable, merited and why it would be important to them.  It's always good to keep lines of communication open, even when you might not agree all the time.  There's always something to be gained and learned in either direction.

The Potential in Today

And a new day rises again. Isn't that the most wonderful thought? No matter what happened yesterday we are blessed with a brand new day!  Sometimes that can feel like a burden, especially if yesterday leaned more towards imaginary steps than baby steps, but it is important to recognize potential the way God does. Without His perspective, most of us I think would cut the entire world off at the knees, saying everything is impossible.  Just think about the number of people who have surprised you.  I've (falsely) judged people, never expecting anything good from them or assuming they would quit trying and just give up.  Sometimes I've even thought that they should give up.  Isn't that awful?  Well, whether its a person, a project or this brand new day, who are we to judge or limit its potential? 

As a teenager, I was NEVER an organized person and so, as an adult, discovering routines and schedules was like a life-preserver of sorts.  I hang on to them for dear life sometimes! The down side, though, has been getting off those schedules.  Being sick, waking up late, etc. pushes everything back and, instead of just rolling with it, I have a tendency to just give up on the day.  Sure, I can start over tomorrow, but simply because it's 9:30 and I haven't worked out yet isn't a sane reason to give up until tomorrow.  What is cool to me is when I start to give up on the day, somehow bypass it (through the power of God) and start accomplishing anyway and what do ya know? My day wasn't a failure after all!

Fridays are happy days anyway, so it will be an easy starting point to look for God's potential in our day.  The key for me anyway is to be purposeful about it.  If I don't intend to look for the potential, it's a sure bet I won't find it on accident!   So, moral of today: Look for the awesome potential in today!

It's a new day and I'm feeling good! 

A Great Pick-Me-Up

Encouragement.  Perspective.  Challenging.   Useful in every day life.  Focus on the Family produces regular podcasts that I have subscribed and listened to for a few years now.  They have been such a rich source of good things in my life and I want to encourage you to give them a chance.

I know personally it is sometimes risky to devote time and energy to something that is new or full of another man's ideas.  If something isn't grounded in God's word, it's not what I need to be filling myself with most of the time.  That being said, 90% of the time I agree with and really benefit from the thoughts these broadcasts share.  That might be a better percentage than I have with my family half the time!

When you subscribe (at least thru itunes - not sure about other places) you can go back and download past shows, which is great if you're only interested in a few areas.  Parenting, Dating, Grief, Finances, Health Issues, Adoption, Truth, Relationships, Men, Women, you name it and they've probably done 2 or 3 shows about it, at least.  I can be pretty emotional and sink into negative funks pretty quickly.  When there is housework to be done, I've made a habit of turning on one of these podcasts to help the time go by (which it does a great job of!).  EVERY time I finish one, especially when I was grumpy before, I come out encouraged, convicted to be less selfish, fill my role as a mom/wife better and I am able to show more grace and mercy to those around me (usually Mr. Butler).

That kind of success and reward is worth the 30 minutes that I was going to spend on housework anyway!  To give it a try, simply search for Focus on the Family in iTunes, download their iPhone app or go to their website for other options.  I guess I probably sound like they are paying me to advertise for them (and yes I would accept payment if offered), but really I just want to see others thrive in their lives.  So many people are unhappy, discontent and flat out angry about the life they lead.  None of us have all the cards dealt exactly the way we want, but the Lord is so good when you do it His way.  These broadcasts are really good at showing that.

My Evolution of Exercise

When Mr. Butler and I started dating, he went to the gym regularly before class and he started dragging me along with him.  I hated it.  

When we got married, he would get up about 5:30 every morning to go to the gym before work and I went with him.  I still hated it.  

About 2 months before I got pregnant I committed to exercising more than I ever had before.  And I started to enjoy it.  

While I was pregnant I exercised as much as I could.  I regretted not pushing myself more before when I was able to.

Now, I can't go more than a day (I try to do something 6 days a week) without really missing it.  

Last month the NY Times posted an article about the mental benefits of exercise.  For the longest time I associated exercise with a path to lose weight and just a boring prescription for better health that you couldn't really feel.  It just seemed like punishment.  Now, even just today, exercise helps me think.  I'm sure part of it is having a kid and the toll it takes on your brain, but exercising decreases my stress, increases my mental and physical energy, boosts my mood and optimism, improves my body image (even when the image of my body hasn't improved any), and all of those things in part and in whole makes me a better person - wife - mother - friend.

I've often heard arguments against taking the time to exercise, saying our focus as Christians shouldn't be on our physical body, but our spiritual body.  It's true that our spirits are eternal and ultimately what matter most.  But the physical is either going to be a tool or a hinderance. If you have trouble focusing, remembering, staying calm, being positive or staying well, then I'd say your physical body is hindering your spiritual life and exercising could help improve and extend it.

I know as well as anyone how hard it is to MAKE yourself do something that you don't enjoy, that is hard and even hurts to do.  Just know that if you wait to start, it'll only get harder and the sooner you start the more you'll improve and benefit from it.

A year from now you'll wish you'd started today - Karen Lamb

Gaining Momentum Without Burning Out

Day after day, we have recorded temperatures in the 100's with no end in sight.  Saying it was hot, well that's an understatement.  Climbing into a boiling car (which imitates the feeling of opening an oven in front of your face), it can be difficult to think of the fall season without rose colored glasses and a heart full of wishes.  How often do you think of times ahead and just day dream?  I do that a lot and with that daydreaming comes these crystalized expectations of how 'perfect' things could be!  But daydreaming does very little unless it is joined with action.

On the other hand, have you ever tried to plan ahead and you seem to get distracted or too involved so you end up spending more time on planning than actually accomplishing anything?  I do that too.  Sometimes we make excuses about our time, saying we don't have time to plan ahead.  The kicker with that one is that usually as time flies by, we moan and complain about how things aren't the way we wish they were. 

This week, I'm taking the week off of piano lessons to prepare for the fall season.  Piano lessons are hit and miss during the summer, as people vacation and what not.  But once school starts, everyone benefits with sticking (as much as possible) to a regular schedule.  I have a few organization things, some projects and some planning that I would like finished before we're locked in for a few months.  As I've been thinking about all of this, I again came to the conclusion of moderation and 'slow and steady wins the race' ideas.  Here are a few pointers I'm going to try to implement in the Butler house.

-Put down on paper where you want to be/what you want to accomplish by the end of 2011, if for no other reason than to just put some thought into it.

-Commit to doing a minimum of 1 thing a week to achieve one or more of those goals.  Something is always better than nothing.  Trying to do everything will result in doing nothing. If nothing else, plan time to plan once a week.

-If you hear yourself committing to mountains of work and insurmountable projects OR if you hear yourself excusing everything and getting ready to quit because everything is too hard, take a step back and realize you're not being reasonable.  Nobody is perfect and nobody is worthless.  We just have to have a little bit of vision and motivation to do a little bit at a time.

I don't know about you, but my world is getting so full - full of joy for births, marriages, enriched relationships; full of heartbreak - sickness, financial struggles, death, heavy burdens; and full of distractions good and bad - gossip, beautiful music, job opportunities, etc.  There is so much to be thankful for and there is so much to prayed for.  Above all, there is no reason to give up and drown yourself in isolation.  Let's grab this life by the horns and have a great day!

How to Change Your Personality in 7 Hours or Less

Just a little relationship/parenting advice from the field!  I have learned this one first hand in just about every kind of scenario you can think of and am convinced that, at very least, these techniques will definitely improve the situation.

You've probably heard the list of things to consider when a baby cries - are they hungry, sleepy, wet, bored, etc.?  Well, if you find yourself or someone you love needing an attitude adjustment, picking fights, or just being extra negative, you'd be surprised at how easy it can be to improve upon.  

SLEEP -  I don't care who you are, how old you are, or what kind of a personality you have, if you're tired and not getting enough sleep, you are probably not the best version of yourself.  Sleep for 7 hours or more and then try it all again.  Emotions won't run quite as high and the world is suddenly not such a bad place.

FOOD - This one is two-fold. #1 How long has it been since you/they have eaten anything? If it has been more than 2-3 hours, it's possible things would be better with food.  #2 Have you had anything raw and fresh today?  If not, at least eat an apple or something to perk everything up.  What you eat and how often you eat can change how you feel, react and behave.  It might be inconvenient, but its true.

PLUMBING - And, yes, this is related to the food one. We might not enjoy discussing it (and we won't at length), but if your internal plumbing isn't working, life isn't as nice as it could be.  Just sayin'.

BOREDOM - How long has it been since you've left the house, the computer, taken a walk, sweat a little, talked to someone, looked at something beautiful?  It all takes a toll.  Exercise, doing something outdoors and just generally doing something productive can boost everything!

I've been sleep-deprived this week.  Late nights, stress, and trying to keep up with everything has just caught up with me.   And yes, it has changed my personality a bit - into the worst version of myself.  Cranky, combative, negative, weepy - yeah you name it and I've been guilty of it this week.  But guess what? Except for a 10 minute interruption at about 3:30 am, I slept for 7 whole hours last night!! After just doing that, I feel so much happier!  I like my husband more, my motivation is back and I can handle so much more!  I'm not suggesting it can solve all your problems, but some days it might. :)

A new day rises

And a new day rises again. Isn't that the most wonderful thought? No matter what happened yesterday we are blessed with a brand new day!  Sometimes that can feel like a burden, especially if yesterday leaned more towards imaginary steps than baby steps, but it is important to recognize potential the way God does. Without His perspective, most of us I think would cut the entire world off at the knees, saying everything is impossible.  Just think about the number of people who have surprised you.  I've (falsely) judged people, never expecting anything good from them or assuming they would quit trying and just give up.  Sometimes I've even thought that they should give up.  Isn't that awful?  Well, whether its a person, a project or this brand new day, who are we to judge or limit its potential? 

As a teenager, I was NEVER an organized person and so, as an adult, discovering routines and schedules was like a life-preserver of sorts.  I hang on to them for dear life sometimes! The down side, though, has been getting off those schedules.  Being sick, waking up late, etc. pushes everything back and, instead of just rolling with it, I have a tendency to just give up on the day.  Sure, I can start over tomorrow, but simply because it's 9:30 and I haven't worked out yet isn't a sane reason to give up until tomorrow.  What is cool to me is when I start to give up on the day, somehow bypass it (through the power of God) and start accomplishing anyway and what do ya know? My day wasn't a failure after all!

Fridays are happy days anyway, so it will be an easy starting point to look for God's potential in our day.  The key for me anyway is to be purposeful about it.  If I don't intend to look for the potential, it's a sure bet I won't find it on accident!   So, moral of today: Look for the awesome potential in today!

It's a new day and I'm feeling good! 

Somewhere In The Middle

In the fall semester of 2004, I found myself in an English Literature course, but not always discussing strictly literature.  It being an election year, political opinions came up quite often.  I'll never forget the conclusion our class came to as a whole - No matter what the parties say, no matter who winds up in the White House, and no matter how many fanatical movements pop up, the majority of people and their opinions lie somewhere  in the middle.  We categorize everything in our lives, from our healthcare methods to our houses to our politics.  Why?  Why do I have to be labeled as a republican or a democrat, upper-class or lower-class, and conventional medicine or natural health?  The truth is sometimes I'm both.  Most of us are closer to moderation than anything else. Why? Because that's where the reason and healthy perspective is.