Go Outside: Your Sanity May Depend On It

We took a walk the other day after breakfast and before we started school.  The weather was significantly cool for late summer so all of us were a little more motivated than usual.  The weight (physical and emotional) of the Race car's pregnancy and transitional months following had made motivation fleeting.  With three kids plus personal recovery, making anything (other than meal time) a habit is a big struggle.  But the chill in the air somehow gave us an extra spring in our step and a walking we did go.

There are a lot of scientific and biological reasons why being active outside and spending time in nature is terribly important to a healthy life.  But if those reasons matter to you, you're probably already doing it. For the rest of us - especially the emotionally driven - we need a little more than somebody telling us we're supposed to do something.  This morning walk gave me exactly what I needed in this arena.  Halfway through the kids wanted to rest and they sat at this bench on the edge of the pond.  They weren't terribly out of breath, but they just sat still quietly talking and taking in the view.  Little sister proved to be tired from then on out and then pouted about how tired she was once we got home.

When we got home, we started schoolwork and EVERYONE had such a good attitude, myself included.  It wasn't until I experienced this surge in energy and attitude that I was reminded of how important going outside is to so much - even morale!

It's easy to get busy and in a rut, but when you feel how effective that energy is, you will WANT to start a new habit!

Mind Control and Thinking Matters

There is a lot of turmoil in our culture that tries to overtake our minds on a daily basis.  In our private lives, there is often a different kind of turmoil that we work to live amidst and rise above in our work and relationships.  Then there is the turmoil that is sometimes (or always) present in our hearts because of things like fear, grief, anxiety and disappointment.

When we don't have outlets to process all of these things, extreme reactions often occur.  Sometimes it is an outburst of anger or explosive posts on social media.  Other times it creates the beginning of disease and dysfunction - physically, emotionally and most certainly within our relationships.

I'm almost 34 weeks pregnant - getting very close to a really big day of celebration and change, a very certain bend in the road.  For me, the anxiety of the mind can overtake all of the good elsewhere in the body and control things for the worse.   That is exactly what happened with J's birth.  I was afraid and couldn't see anything else once the pain started.  Praise the Lord for second chances because I was able to change that with miss Z's birth.  I learned to get my active mind out of the way and the body took over - doing a much better (and quicker) job than I had let it do before.  In my case, the babies weren't much different in size.  The risks or lack thereof weren't different.  The difference was how I thought (courtesy of Blissborn). As I'm staring down this road again with a much fuller perspective (and a fuller plate), I can see how easily the pendulum can swing solely based on what is flying around in my head.  Knowing what I know now, it's my responsibility to fill it with the good and the encouraging things, rather than the uncertain and negative.

More than ever before we are struggling with disease and mental health issues.  After miss Z's 1st birthday, I found myself riddled with anxiety and drowning in poor health, despite thinking I was fine.  The road back to health changed me a lot.  If your thoughts and emotions are a constant struggle, then you especially need to consider what's going into your mind and how your brain is processing all of that.  And give yourself every opportunity to surround yourself with light and beauty.  If we don't do it on purpose, the ugliness and pain of the world can absolutely take over. Our mind can be our biggest asset if we treat it right.

-Point out great things (and not complain).
-Commit to a prayer & Bible study habit.
-Listen to beautiful things.
-Express yourself through creating - like music, writing, painting, woodworking, etc.
-Take time with nature.
-Gain perspective through gratitude.
-Consider lifestyle changes like exercise, food choices and supplement deficiencies.

Most importantly, talk about it.  Our thoughts and concerns affect us mostly deeply, but often we keep them hidden from most everyone in our life.  Find a person or a group where you can share your struggles.  Just getting them outside of your self is a really big step toward health.

4 Things to Do Before You Give Up

We live in quite a complicated time, don't we?  Lots of corruption, violence, and circumstances we never dreamed of.  This week I had a hard time with motivation and productivity.  That mountain (be it laundry or a painful conversation) just seemed insurmountable.  

Good news, though.  It wasn't.  Insurmountable, I mean.  With my head, sometimes it's just a matter of figuring out what I'm lacking and my whole perspective will change.  Balance is everything, I tell you.  What I really needed was a couple of hours to clean, on a Saturday morning when the air feels different, just because it is Saturday.  I needed a little play time with my sweet girl and then to pass by her room a few times, knowing she's sleeping.  It all was beautiful therapy for me today.

Angry or bitter thoughts, bleak outlooks on the world can seep into our hearts and convince us that everything is futile and pointless.  To continue in the midst of controversy or struggle is foolish, you think.  If you find yourself here, as I have lately, here are a couple of things to consider first:

1) Check the Weather.  The weather affects us in so many ways.  How many days has it been since the sun was shining?   Maybe part of your foul mood is due to all the rain/snow/ice/heat you've had lately! Is a full moon coming around soon?  Ask any teacher, police officer or ER professional.  The full moon can do crazy things to people - myself included!

2) Check your Intro/Extroverted Status.  How long has it been since you recharged? Neglected our natural temperament's needs can do more damage than you'd think.  Just a couple of hours with no one to talk to or think about frees and feeds me in a way nothing else can!

3) Check your Fat.  Are you getting plenty of good fats and omegas (fish oil)? Adding this one element to your diet and supplements can make a huge difference in your brain activity and mood.

4) See the Good.  We easily latch on the bad, the worrisome and the ugly.  No matter what is going on in the world, there is still beautiful, wonderful things.  Take some time to soak them in before you give you to quickly!

 

Act Hysterical and Give Up

I ran across this picture on pinterest and was struck by how deeply that notion is imbedded in my DNA.  If there's pressure, if things aren't in control, if others don't behave how I think they should, if (insert any uncertainty in life), then my brain wants to freak out and quit.

You and I would laugh at the ridiculous notion, but I'm not kidding.  And I bet, even if you're not this way very often, you know a few people who are.  Outside of the hysterical moment, it's clear that this kind of approach only makes matters worse, right?  But inside that stressful, out of control moment, it tempts to solve all of our problems.

I happen to know that so many people are struggling right now.  Financial worries.  Health crises. Relational problems.  Depression.  So. much. stress.  For you and those around you that tend to react this way, keep this little thought handy.  Post it in your house or office maybe.  Set it as a wallpaper for your computer or phone.  Let's see if we can keep the hysterics to a minimum this weekend and maybe even be fruitful!

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and self-control." 2 Tim. 1:7

The Questions We Should Ask, But Don't

In a 10 year span, most people encounter several head swirling events, any of which can really mess a person up if they let it.  The thing is, we often don't talk about these kind of events like that.  We talk about graduating college as the gateway to the future.  Marriage is easily characterized as the happiest day of our lives.  Then pregnancy and parenthood are spoken of in magical terms where the world is wafted with sunshine and rainbows.  And if we're all honest about it, deep down we want to believe it will all be true for us.  We are different.  The cool part is that there are days like that.  Days where I know I'm the luckiest girl in the world with amazing opportunities and joy beyond measure because of my husband, my work and my children.  But the other days - when I don't feel those things - well, we don't talk about those much, do we?

The other day I had a day that I just wouldn't want to share with anybody.  I didn't feel well physically. I was short-tempered with my son.  I was hateful to my husband.  And I accomplished nothing of note - as in no housework, no better attitude, barely getting the dogs fed kind of a day.  Granted, I'm pregnant and have been suffering from mood swings a lot lately, but it was still one of those 'I must be the worst person on the planet' days.  And the hardest part about it?  The next day I didn't feel any better.  It's like hitting a brick wall twice.  Ain't nobody got time for that!

In life, we experience things that we hope to never talk about with anyone - or at least as few as possible.  But I think we should.  Mostly, to know that we're not the only one who's ever faced such a thing.  Marriage problems, addictions, depression, feelings of failure because of layoffs, parenting problems, resentment, overwhelming pessimism, etc.  Just fill in whatever issue you struggle with right now.  We all know of people who have surprising problems. "I had no idea!" always follows the discussion.  So often, if we would talk about it, these problems can be ridden out before permanent destruction occurs.

We all have circumstances, health issues, weaknesses and a whole lot of faults.  And that's not really the problem.  The destruction really begins when we start thinking we're alone or no one else has to deal with anything like this.  Sure, it's not a good idea to tell anyone who will listen to all your dirty laundry, but find at least one or two friends to be honest with.  Whether you're at a crossroads of decisions, drowning in silence or just about to jump into something big (like college, marriage or kids), ask questions of those in the throws.  Ask the weird, maybe hard questions.

• What do you wish someone had told you before you went to college/took your first job/got married/had kids/bought a house?
• Did you ever completely regret getting married/that degree/having children?
• Have you ever taken anti-depressants?
• Have you ever had an addiction problem?
• Did you ever feel like you just couldn't do it anymore?
• How do people deal with feeling ashamed of where their life is?
• Have you ever had a lot of debt?
• Did you ever have suicidal thoughts?
• Do you ever resent your kids?
• Have you ever found out your spouse lied to you? 

This is the stuff that turning points are made of.  There are ways out, but all too often it's really hard to see them by yourself.  What do you wish someone had told you before now?