Walking Together: One of 2020's BEST Gifts

Before Mr. Butler was forced to telework, he had a 30 minute commute to and from work every day.  In order to make it to the gym before work, he would leave before everyone was up most days and make it home just before dinner.  We talked on the phone often, but his new position had him in meetings more than before which meant less time to chat during work hours.  But it was our normal and that was fine.  Like the rest of the world, it was hard to see how anything could be different, even if you could argue that it should be different.  Jobs have to be tended to in order to pay the bills in order to keep families fed and protected.  Luxuries, whether in time or money, are often not an option.  So when he finally got the word to start working from home, like the rest of the world, we really didn't know what to think.  He immediately started projects he had been putting off.  I tackled things around the house to attempt better organization.  Since we homeschooled, life wasn't all that different.

Then the world went crazy and it hasn't stopped embarrassing itself yet.  Still, we spent more time talking and growing through this peculiar cocoon of life we had.  At some point over the summer, we started going on lunchtime walks with the kids around our neighborhood pond. We knew the extra vitamin D was becoming really important and the extra exercise was always welcome after being stuck inside for a bit.  Before shutdowns, I had often complained of my stuck situation of not wanting to drag kids anywhere in order for me to exercise with someone, but desperately wanted the encouragement of spending time moving with someone else.  After being a witness to the ebb and flow of homeschooling over a couple of months, Mr. Butler began to grow in perspective of what worked well and what didn't.  My sweet husband began making it a priority most days of the week to walk with us, in a large part to give us uninterrupted time to talk and walk.  The kids would occupy themselves playing so it became like a miniature lunch date.  

I would like to tell you that it single-handedly purified us of all our marital disagreements and subsequently perfected our children as well.  Sadly, that is not the case.  After about 6 months of walking together, we still hash out many an argument or end up more upset by the end than the beginning some days.  But, I'll tell you what it has done for us.  We have grown closer, empathy is getting more effective, and we enjoy each other more than ever.  Not without bouts of maddening fury because an engineer and a highly sensitive creative type are not going to sync up well without a lot of work.  However, spending most days taking about 45 minutes to process life together is teaching us to truly walk together in our marriage.  I know from a female - gotta release 40,000 words or I'm going to explode - perspective, just having time to talk and process is SO important to my mental health.  Mr. Butler's job has grown more complex and I know having the chance to just process his stuff in a non-work setting has been helpful to him as well.  This time helps us stay on the same page better simply because we're talking about it all regularly.

Now I realize that just my husband working from home still is a luxury in many regards that most couples may not have available to them.  Maybe it's not the time, but an appropriate walking space.  It is December and maybe you don't live in Oklahoma like I do where it was 75 today.  Whatever the case, I realize that my solution may not help you.  What I want you to take from this is that if something is important enough, we can find a way.  We can and should make our marriages a priority even if we don't think there is any urgency in it. Mr. Butler and I weren't setting out to make drastic changes anywhere, but through all the madness it certainly has become so.  

We know that the world will likely calm down eventually and he will have to return to work to some extent.  I'm not looking forward to that day, but we've discussed taking a remote walk together by phone which can largely have the same effect.  The encouragement is that spending extra time or rearranging certain things in your life to nurture your relationship is absolutely worth it.  And honestly, this can be applied to any relationship, not just a marriage.  If we want better friends, better parent/child, sibling or neighbor relationships, there are extra steps we can take.  Just because you can convince yourself that don't have to doesn't mean you don't need to.  Whoever you need to be better with, look for ways you can 'walk together' with them.  2020 has taught and demonstrated to us that isolation is not healthy and does not produce better lives.  Let's take that information and use it wisely in the circles we can influence.

Reasons You Need Year-Round Schooling

This week I'm participating in a Not Back To School Series and talking about Year-Round Schooling. Since so many of our lifestyle choices go against the grain already, I'm sure it's not a surprise that we would go with a year-round schooling approach.  But, have you ever thought about why you might choose it?  Let me give you a few reasons you should consider it.

- Health is more important than someone else's schedule.  Especially in the elementary years, there is such a conflict between what their little body needs (more rest, lots of outdoor play, etc.)  and what is socially and schedule-wise accepted.  Year-round schooling allows for sick days and growth spurts with ease.

- Weather waits for no man.  Days great for playing outside or taking that field trip do not respect my schedule.  From frigid cold winters to blazing hot back to school days, there's plenty of days better spent indoors.  When a great weather day comes along, you don't want to be so tied to a schedule that you can't enjoy it.  Year-round schooling allows for a more enhanced nature and science education because you are allowed to do more outside!

- Your local public school teacher recommends it! What does every teacher worth their salt recommend for summer vacation? Keep up your reading.  Do 5 minute math drills every morning.  Educators know that we all do well when we continue working on our skills and maintain learning engagement.  It's a fact.that completely stopping the learning process for large gaps at a time creates a large amount of work to get caught up at the beginning of the school year.  Year-round schooling creates an ideal learning routine and enhances students' retention.

- Life rarely goes as planned.  A realistic part of efficient planning is the ability to be flexible when it doesn't go the way you intend.  There is a lot of unnecessary stress and pressure to get back on schedule when we experience curve balls in our life.  There will be extended illness, deaths, financial, marriage and housing issues.  Life is just like that.  Year-round schooling assumes there will be complications and allows ample time to maneuver around them without as much stress.

CREW @ Homeschool Review Crew - 2019 Annual Not Back to School Homeschool Blog Hop 
Chareen @ Every Bed of Roses - ABC of Homeschooling
Dawn @ Schoolin' Swag - Adding Fun to Your Homeschool Day
Erin @ For Him and My Family - Large Family Homeschooling
Lori @ At Home Where Life Happens - Learning Life Skills
Monique @ Mountain of Grace Homeschooling - Homeschooling the High School Years
Monique D. @ Early Learning Mom - Homeschooling With Autism
Yvie @ Homeschool On the Range - 5 Days of Upper Grades Homeschooling
Abby @ Making Room 4 One More - Time Management for Homeschool Moms
Amanda @ Hopkins Homeschool - 5 Days of Homeschool Questions
Amy @ the WRITE Balance - Year-Round Schooling
Annette @ A Net in Time - Homeschooling.
Betty @ Lets Get Real - Homeschooling High School
Cassandra @ My Blessed Mess - Eclectic Homeschooling Kimberley @ Vintage Blue Suitcase - Roadschooling with a Teenager
Yvonne @ The Life We Build - 5 Days of Relaxed Homeschooling
Destiny @ Some Call It Destiny - Encouragement for the Homeschooling Mom
Karen @ Tots and Me...Growing Up Together -  A Peek into Our Homeschool
Kimberley @ Vintage Blue Suitcase - Roadschooling with a Teenager
Yvonne @ The Life We Build - 5 Days of Relaxed Homeschooling
Destiny @ Some Call It Destiny - Encouragement for the Homeschooling Mom
Karen @ Tots and Me...Growing Up Together -  A Peek into Our Homeschool
Cassie D @ Deputie Tribe - Homeschooling 6 Taking Care of YOU
Kristen Heider @ A Mom's Quest to Teach -Theme: A Quest for a Great Homeschool Year
Patti Pierce - Truth and Grace Homeschool Academy - My Favorite Homeschooling Things
Wendy @ Life on Chickadee Lane - 5 Days of Nature Study
Jacquelin @ A Stable Beginning - Homeschooling my final 4 
Christine @ Life's Special Necessities - Yes! You Can Homeschool Your Special Needs Child
Sally M - Tell the Next Generation - Tips for Homeschooling Struggling Learners 

The Dark Side of Progress: Why We Want To Live Life Differently

I have friends, as I'm sure you do as well, that boycott Facebook in an attempt to protect their mental space from the negatively charged climate we are battling on a daily basis.  If you are tapped into early childhood education, you have heard the battle between higher test score advocates and the call for play-dominated education.  Are you struggling with chronic health problems?  There is a lot of discussion about the dangers of our modern agricultural approaches undermining the God-given nutrients and immunity my grandparents received from their food and microbiome.  While modern conveniences are amazing in their own right, there is troubling evidence that suggests a blind-following of current trends in the name of keeping up is rapidly eating away at our quality of life.

About a mile from our house, we have experienced an oil site construction that has finally come to its maintenance state.  It was only a matter of weeks when another began just down the way from it.  No one in the area has been pleased with it and my animal loving kids were disgusted at all the animal homes they were destroying (in the tree clearing) just for the sake of money!  I had to calm my little activists down and explain how we do benefit from the oil even if we don't like the process and location.  I'm not in denial about some real benefits of progress and technology advancements, but this current wave of technology and internet-dominated living comes with side effects we do not generally consider.

My upbringing was extremely health-conscious and certainly not the norm of my culture usually.  To her credit, my mom was advocating for health and wellness choices that would become mainstream years later.  So, I remember how certain the 'experts' were about the evils of butter and all manner of fats.  Turns out they were off-base and there are quite a few good fats that are vital for overall health.  Let's not even talk about the smoking and the tobacco industry.  My point is, just because something is new and popular never means it is safe, wise or a place to set up camp.

I always hated the 'back in the good old days' talks or the resistance of progress simply because it is new, but I'm starting to understand their motivation.  There are some things in this world that do not change and our incessant need to upgrade or revolutionize what already works is getting us into trouble in some cases.  Spending time outdoors in nature is good for you - mind, body and spirit.  Eating a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables is important for mind and body function.  Being creative and keeping a slow pace is a mandatory part of life in order to sustain the times of necessary work and fast pace.  These are things that do not change no matter how fast your computer is or what new gadget comes on the market.

It is clear that our mental and physical health as a country is failing.  From suicide to cancers to chronic illness - all of our technological advancements aren't enough to truly change the direction of our health nationally.  I am so thankful for surgeries and procedures being more precise and revolutionized in many areas.  Like the oil that is being harvested down the street, there are good, even life-saving elements that come from progress.  But my hope is that we don't walk into the future blindly as if there are never any dangerous costs or side effects from all this progress.   A big reason why we choose the lifestyle we do - homeschool, hiking, gardening, cooking, etc. - is to protect and preserve a healthy way of life for our children.  I cannot control what dangers may arise from modern advancements, but I can invest more heavily in the decidedly good parts of life in order to side step or in some cases prevent the negative fallout of our march to the more, the better and the new.  

Go Outside: Your Sanity May Depend On It

We took a walk the other day after breakfast and before we started school.  The weather was significantly cool for late summer so all of us were a little more motivated than usual.  The weight (physical and emotional) of the Race car's pregnancy and transitional months following had made motivation fleeting.  With three kids plus personal recovery, making anything (other than meal time) a habit is a big struggle.  But the chill in the air somehow gave us an extra spring in our step and a walking we did go.

There are a lot of scientific and biological reasons why being active outside and spending time in nature is terribly important to a healthy life.  But if those reasons matter to you, you're probably already doing it. For the rest of us - especially the emotionally driven - we need a little more than somebody telling us we're supposed to do something.  This morning walk gave me exactly what I needed in this arena.  Halfway through the kids wanted to rest and they sat at this bench on the edge of the pond.  They weren't terribly out of breath, but they just sat still quietly talking and taking in the view.  Little sister proved to be tired from then on out and then pouted about how tired she was once we got home.

When we got home, we started schoolwork and EVERYONE had such a good attitude, myself included.  It wasn't until I experienced this surge in energy and attitude that I was reminded of how important going outside is to so much - even morale!

It's easy to get busy and in a rut, but when you feel how effective that energy is, you will WANT to start a new habit!

Winter's Redemption: Snow Days!

Last week we had a couple of fun snow days! We finally got the chance to try out sledding in our front yard.  Being 6+ months pregnant limits my (wise) sledding time, but it allowed me to get some fun pictures!

Even in the bitter cold, the physical activity did everyone so much good!  I know how hard it is to get outside sometimes when we're cold, but it's even more important for our health and well-being in the winter.  Winter gets a bad reputation because it limits certain activities, but even in the 'death' of the year, nature is our friend in refreshing and renewal.

No children were harmed in this activity and, in fact, loved falling out as much as anything else!

An Afternoon in the Garden

Did you know the Science Museum of Oklahoma has a lovely garden?  I'm sure I must have known a long time ago, but I had never been as an adult.  The other day we took the kids after miss Z's soccer game and had a lovely lunch in the garden.  It was a great day!

Adventures in Arkansas: Part 1

Earlier this month we took a few days off and went camping in Arkansas!  Some folks are of the opinion that camping is something you do only out of necessity and not by choice.  I guess I'm just not one of them.  It takes me a night to get used to everything, but being outdoors is so good for my soul.  J is five and the explorer in him is exploding these days.  Over the last couple of months I've grown convicted about giving the kids lots of outdoor experiences and making camping a family tradition at least every year.  So on our way to Devil's Den State Park, we stopped at Artist Point.

Unfortunately I didn't get all of my work done before time to leave so I spent a little time on the computer the first day.  But I couldn't complain about the work space!

Our next stop was at War Eagle Mill where we learned about grinding corn and bought some yummy Organic Pecan Cinnamon Whole Wheat Pancake Mix.  In the gift shop the kids were intent on playing chess, though they didn't really know how.

After we left here, we stopped by some friends, the Watsons, for a delicious dinner and play time for the kids!  I didn't even think to get any pictures! :(  We had a great time anyway!

4 Reasons to Spend Time Outside

Now that it's officially spring here in Oklahoma, it is time to talk about the great outdoors for a bit.  With winter and all the snow the US got hit with this year, it might be tempting to give up going outside for good!  But fear not, the outdoors can give as much or more than it usually takes away.

For your health...Staying indoors stifles clean, free breathing.  Allergens and bacteria can build up, weakening your immune system.  And don't forget the vitamin D!  For a few circumstances, what's outside (pollen, pollution, etc.) can be worse than what's inside, but by-in-large, stepping outside for a bit will do everyone some good.

For your sanity...Looking at the same floors and walls all day, every day can really do something to your head.  And when my head is messed up, I get cranky, stressed and not a great version of myself.  Stepping outside makes me smile, reminds me there is more to life than whatever I was just fixated on and relaxes everything just a bit.  God's creation - the trees, the sky, the air - is such a stark reminder of beauty, power and divine presence!  

For your creativity...It's proven that creativity is key to success in so many areas of our life.  Especially, children's development.  Just taking a walk around your backyard or office building at lunch has the power to spark thoughts and inspirations that will propel you to a better place.  Furthermore, as a mother of a boy, boys need to spend a lot of time outdoors to express and cultivate their creativity.  NEED, I tell you.  They were designed for it.  Girls benefit greatly too, but boys become menaces without enough of it.  NEED it, they do.

For your independence...For children and adults alike, going outside nudges us to explore, take risks and ultimately stretch our independence a little bit.  We live in very toxic times where individual boundaries and expectations can get really blurry. Spending time outside cultivates a deeper connection with nature, more attention to our beliefs and the ability to go our own way.  Something we all struggle with from time to time.

We are all busier than we'd like to be and worrying more than we know we should, but yet we do it anyway.  This is one area of your life that you can change and make a difference.  Go outside more.  Do it for your family - better yet, do it WITH your family!  It will change you for the better, I promise.

Psalm 104:1-5 

Bless the Lord, O my soul! O Lord my God, you are very great! You are clothed with splendor and majesty, covering yourself with light as with a garment, stretching out the heavens like a tent. He lays the beams of his chambers on the waters; he makes the clouds his chariot; he rides on the wings of the wind; he makes his messengers winds, his ministers a flaming fire. He set the earth on its foundations, so that it should never be moved.

Sittin' on the porch

As kids we've all found ourselves saying, "But I don't want to!" to the many parental suggestions to take advantage of a good deed opportunity.  Depending on the age, we're often met with many reasonings why it is imperative we act right then: There might not be a situation like this again, It will be beneficial for you as well, It's the RIGHT thing to do, or even that this could be God's design and plan for you.  As a kid you can come up with a million reasons not to that are completely justified in your head.  The problem I have is sometimes I find that all of those childish reasons haven't necessarily left my head and certainly not be replaced by adult and mature-like motivation to "do it anyway!"

Today marks my 13th week of pregnancy and I dare say I think I'm going to live. My brain is a little less mushy and I seem to be feeling better overall.  Thankful as I am, as this has happened I've been met with just a circumstance as described above.  What I want, I cannot have.  Instead, it is clear to the adult in me that my efforts and energies will be put to good use in another area - a situation most likely providentially provided.  And yet, my heart says "but I don't wanna!"

We were blessed to spend the afternoon at Ken & Laura Butler's house yesterday for lunch and fellowship.  If you've ever been there, you'll know they have a beautiful example of nature at work, highlighting animals, outdoors and some of God's best and cutest creations.   There is a child-like spirit that I fear many lose if not cultivated. Riding a horse, watching tiny kittens sleep, just sitting on the porch swing talking are examples of things that I think our souls need to experience and appreciate daily to really see Him. So, when I speak of childish attitudes, I guess I'm referring to a very basic selfishness.  A selfishness that is just too strong to let go. It can be a daily battle, I think, but perhaps if we fill our thoughts with grand appreciation for the beauty and accept the opportunities God provides with more of that appreciation, selfishness can be easier to let go of.

If you haven't yet, do something outside this week before it starts heating up to a more summer-like temperature.  Spring is never long enough. :)

Going Outside

Over the weekend, my husband and I hiked at the Wildlife Preserve out by Lawton, OK.  This morning I was listening to an older episode of Vicky & Jen's 'What Really Matters' podcast that featured Richard Louv, author of "Last Child In The Woods: Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder".  Throughout their discussion several interesting points are brought up. Some people are quick to make video games and television the bad guy in childhood problems like obesity, ADD and violence, but Mr. Louv suggests that it may not be the presence of electronic diversions, but the absence of quality time spent in a human's natural environment.  Getting out of the city and literally climbing on rocks, through trees and caverns, and spending a whole day outside was awesome! I'm just disappointed that we can't do it again this weekend.  Our society is full of new diseases or syndromes, trying to blame all of our discomforts on everything. From the way I see it, the further we get away from life the way God created and intended it to be, the more complications we're going to see.  I don't think we need to strip our homes of electricity or anything, but why not learn about the world by being out in it, instead of learning it through the Discovery Channel.  

The weather has turned cooler this week and to me has brought about an amazingly serene feeling in the Butler household. Even Grace & Lizzie, our beautiful dogs, have basked in the peaceful atmosphere by laying out in the backyard, occasionally rough-housing, but mostly just sitting, staring into the blue sky. Its a great dynamic we have going on.  I've added some links regarding getting kids back into nature, if you're interested.