What Do Parents Get Out of Homeschooling?

What if homeschooling was just as important for parent's growth as it is their children's education?

For every time a child complains that they aren't skilled enough to do something, there are plenty of adults who encourage them to grow and in time better develop their skills.  That's what parenting is about - teaching them to learn and grow.  Why do we completely forget that reality when facing our own reality?  I'll tell you why.  Parents are tired, stressed and often caught longing for a reality (free of worry, fewer expenses, and smaller waistlines) that no longer exists.  A lot of our life is merely about survival and has zero time to worry about growth.  And yet, as children of God we are called to grow.

As most people know, we decided to homeschool our children before our oldest was even born.  It was a choice that I felt really confident in because I had experience in music, education and working with children.  I didn't love the necessary constraints of a typical public school system and was impressed by the growing homeschool community here in Oklahoma so it became a really easy decision for us.  At that time, I think the motivation to homeschool was 100% for my kids and their benefit.  The added responsibility of their education, no automatic breaks from my children and the stress of going against the grain were not things I loved or wanted in my life, but merely necessary price tags of this chosen lifestyle.

What if I told you that now, after heading down this homeschool path for 9 years, Mr. Butler and I benefit just as much as our kids?

Homeschooling has made us better parents.  Spending 6-8 hours a (week) day away from my kids - even if it is spent at work - allows me to hide a lot from my kids and they me.  Being the one who has to enforce schoolwork on a daily basis or having a continual audience or witness to my weaknesses forces me to face reality a bit more.  A good kid who rarely would argue with his teacher at school, may not hold back quite so much for his familiar parents.  That makes for a harder job on the parent, but once it is under control, you can have greater confidence in the child's learning of the lesson.  While it can hurt at first, this path keeps us accountable by insisting that I grow and that is truly a gift.

Homeschooling has given us freedom.  When we set our own schedule, we have the freedom to live life in the way that is important to us.  In most scenarios, we don't have to miss things because of bedtimes or school schedules, instead we simply adjust accordingly with naps or sleeping in the next day. When sickness or babies come into the mix, everywhere adjusts together.  We can take days/weeks off for special occasions or vacations whenever is appropriate for us.  We can create the life and space that we want to a very large degree.  Of course, we are limited by Mr. Butler's work schedule, but when he has days off like Martin Luther King Jr. Day, he can spend the day with us while we are doing school.

Homeschooling Pushes Us To Learn New Things.  When I'm not the one making the lesson plan, it is easy to check-out and let the person in charge worry about it.  While that can be nice when you have a dozen other things to do, it causes me to miss out on something that I could learn and share with my children at the same time!  As I'm choosing subjects to explore with the kids, it is only natural that my my interests are piqued and I find myself diving in further than if it was some assigned project they brought home from somewhere else.  And as we all know, learning new things is good for health and longevity not to mention part of God's design for our beautifully crafted brains.


Most of the time these blessings are available to any family, whether they homeschool or not, but it is far more difficult when other entities are determining your child's time and subject matter most of the day.  Intentional parenting and a strong family dynamic is within everyone's reach, but, like an education taylored to a child's individual needs, it's really challenging without the freedom of homeschooling.  If home educating isn't a possibility or desirable in your family, you probably didn't read this far and I'm not really writing to you.  Aside from God and His word, nothing is a perfect fit for everyone.  The person I'm really thinking about is that parent who has thought about it and been tempted by it, but then convinced themselves they couldn't do it because their child won't listen to them or they don't feel educated enough to be responsible for their the child's education.  The really cool thing about this lifestyle is that everyone is learning  here!  If you can find a video on YouTube on how to change any part on any appliance in your house or enough information on any random weed in your yard for an extensive research project, you can find the help you need if you desire to teach your kids at home.  Beyond that, there are so many blessings even for us parents that make this choice worthwhile.

If you have more specific questions about what it takes to homeschool, I was fortunate to write an article about it for The Old Schoolhouse Magazine called "Can I Pull My Child Out of Public School?"

Reasons You Need Year-Round Schooling

This week I'm participating in a Not Back To School Series and talking about Year-Round Schooling. Since so many of our lifestyle choices go against the grain already, I'm sure it's not a surprise that we would go with a year-round schooling approach.  But, have you ever thought about why you might choose it?  Let me give you a few reasons you should consider it.

- Health is more important than someone else's schedule.  Especially in the elementary years, there is such a conflict between what their little body needs (more rest, lots of outdoor play, etc.)  and what is socially and schedule-wise accepted.  Year-round schooling allows for sick days and growth spurts with ease.

- Weather waits for no man.  Days great for playing outside or taking that field trip do not respect my schedule.  From frigid cold winters to blazing hot back to school days, there's plenty of days better spent indoors.  When a great weather day comes along, you don't want to be so tied to a schedule that you can't enjoy it.  Year-round schooling allows for a more enhanced nature and science education because you are allowed to do more outside!

- Your local public school teacher recommends it! What does every teacher worth their salt recommend for summer vacation? Keep up your reading.  Do 5 minute math drills every morning.  Educators know that we all do well when we continue working on our skills and maintain learning engagement.  It's a fact.that completely stopping the learning process for large gaps at a time creates a large amount of work to get caught up at the beginning of the school year.  Year-round schooling creates an ideal learning routine and enhances students' retention.

- Life rarely goes as planned.  A realistic part of efficient planning is the ability to be flexible when it doesn't go the way you intend.  There is a lot of unnecessary stress and pressure to get back on schedule when we experience curve balls in our life.  There will be extended illness, deaths, financial, marriage and housing issues.  Life is just like that.  Year-round schooling assumes there will be complications and allows ample time to maneuver around them without as much stress.

CREW @ Homeschool Review Crew - 2019 Annual Not Back to School Homeschool Blog Hop 
Chareen @ Every Bed of Roses - ABC of Homeschooling
Dawn @ Schoolin' Swag - Adding Fun to Your Homeschool Day
Erin @ For Him and My Family - Large Family Homeschooling
Lori @ At Home Where Life Happens - Learning Life Skills
Monique @ Mountain of Grace Homeschooling - Homeschooling the High School Years
Monique D. @ Early Learning Mom - Homeschooling With Autism
Yvie @ Homeschool On the Range - 5 Days of Upper Grades Homeschooling
Abby @ Making Room 4 One More - Time Management for Homeschool Moms
Amanda @ Hopkins Homeschool - 5 Days of Homeschool Questions
Amy @ the WRITE Balance - Year-Round Schooling
Annette @ A Net in Time - Homeschooling.
Betty @ Lets Get Real - Homeschooling High School
Cassandra @ My Blessed Mess - Eclectic Homeschooling Kimberley @ Vintage Blue Suitcase - Roadschooling with a Teenager
Yvonne @ The Life We Build - 5 Days of Relaxed Homeschooling
Destiny @ Some Call It Destiny - Encouragement for the Homeschooling Mom
Karen @ Tots and Me...Growing Up Together -  A Peek into Our Homeschool
Kimberley @ Vintage Blue Suitcase - Roadschooling with a Teenager
Yvonne @ The Life We Build - 5 Days of Relaxed Homeschooling
Destiny @ Some Call It Destiny - Encouragement for the Homeschooling Mom
Karen @ Tots and Me...Growing Up Together -  A Peek into Our Homeschool
Cassie D @ Deputie Tribe - Homeschooling 6 Taking Care of YOU
Kristen Heider @ A Mom's Quest to Teach -Theme: A Quest for a Great Homeschool Year
Patti Pierce - Truth and Grace Homeschool Academy - My Favorite Homeschooling Things
Wendy @ Life on Chickadee Lane - 5 Days of Nature Study
Jacquelin @ A Stable Beginning - Homeschooling my final 4 
Christine @ Life's Special Necessities - Yes! You Can Homeschool Your Special Needs Child
Sally M - Tell the Next Generation - Tips for Homeschooling Struggling Learners 

The Baking Butler

Currently, I'm sitting at the bar in my kitchen while Mr. Butler throws together some gingerbread dough while he waits on his butter to soften for the puff pastry he's making for honey poached pears.  The pears are something he wanted to try for Thanksgiving and the gingerbread is largely something to pass the time.  I don't know about you, but baking to pass the time between other baking has never been something I have done. Ever.  He still amazes me at his drive and ability to do anything he decides to.  

A couple of months ago, I stumbled onto The British Baking Show on Netflix and mentioned to him that he would probably like it.  Not easily invested in a television show, I expected him to dismiss me, again.  But a week or so later, after the kids went to bed he sat down and said, "Let's watch that show of yours."  After that he was hooked and had the itch to bake.  I'll have to admit that I get the itch watching it myself and I'm not much of a baker myself.  Since he started, we've had cinnamon rolls, sour dough bread, shortbread, jam, crackers, and today rough puff pastry and gingerbread.

 We honestly do try to limit our bread intake as a family, but we have been a little lax lately, especially with Daddy and all his homemade goodies.  It certainly is a wonderful blessing for these homeschool kiddos to learn how to cook all kinds of things.  We've always made a point to include them and give them skills in the kitchen, but this has really taken things to another level.  They love watching the show with us too which seems to have given them a vocabulary boost as well as a lesson in European cultures.

 My nature is far more skiddish and apprehensive about things I don't 'have a lot of experience with, but Mr. Butler just takes care of business when it comes to trying new things.  My children are so blessed to have him, especially to fill in the gaps that I usually leave.

Homeschool Hesitations: Hurdles, Hardships & Help

As a homeschool parent, do you ever find yourself hesitating to share your own experiences?  This is the third installment of the Homeschool Hesitations series and time to dig into the hard stuff.  Parenting is hard and being around your children more than you are not - while so very rewarding - can also create unique hurdles. How do you find time for yourself? What if you are an introvert and your kids suck your energy out every day? How do you find time to clean? How do you do structure when you're not that great at it and you don't always HAVE to? What if my child is struggling? Will everyone blame me and the homeschooling?

Why We Hesitate:

When we make choices we always want to feel like we made the best ones.  Rent or buy.  New or used.  Breastfeed or Supplement.  When it comes to how we educate our children, we absolutely want what is best for our kids AND we want others to consider us wise and good parents.  That works just fine as long as our children excel and flourish, thus 'proving' our choice in homeschooling is right for them.  Isn't that how it works in our heads?  Unfortunately, the outward proof we are looking for is likely not possible for another 20 or 30 years.  When we hesitate to share our struggles, it is often out of fear that we will lose the imaginary argument we have going with anyone who might judge or disagree with us - this is true for so many topics.  Or is it just me that does that?

The Benefit of Sharing:

Making a choice to go down a different path is always going to spark questions and criticism.  ALWAYS.  The gift of age helps us to care a lot less about what Sally or Jennifer think and more about what God and those closest to us think.  Still, somehow I get to thinking I have to keep my homeschooling 'stuff' to myself because in one way or another it isn't relevant or welcome in mixed company.  That IS self-preserving, I guess, but it IS NOT productive to mental health or the health of my relationships.  How can we be friends if we aren't able to talk about circumstances unique to each other?

I love organic learning - the kind that just naturally grows in the right environment!  I know that learning is rarely precise, but it can be such a beautiful thing.  Still, there are textbooks full of learning disabilities that our children might suffer from sooner or later.  What then?  There are so many scenarios where we need help and support.  Sometimes the BEST person to ask is a seasoned school teacher or a parent of a child who has survived a similar struggle.  Instead of worrying about any conflict or judgement, we should consolidate our resources any chance we get! And have you every thought about that public school parent whose child is also struggling in their own situation?  The out of the classroom perspective you bring just might be the answer they need right now.

With conflict being such a difficult thing for me to cope with, I managed to forget all of the good that can come from sharing our struggles with people in vastly different life circumstances than ours.  No, not everyone will respond with understanding or concern, but that's okay.  Good comes from all types of scenarios down the road.

We want to have and be the friend who will sit with us when we hurt and rejoice when we win.  So what if we can't identify with the circumstance.   I desperately want that, if we're being honest.  It has to start with me, right now.  And that is a really hard step to take sometimes because of awkwardness or defensiveness or you name it.  But we - as a society and certainly as a parent who educates their children at home - can co-exist with joy and fulfillment.  Let's stop hesitating to pursue healthier relationships.  Stop hesitating to ask for and offer help - no matter how different someone is from you.