As kids we've all found ourselves saying, "But I don't want to!" to the many parental suggestions to take advantage of a good deed opportunity. Depending on the age, we're often met with many reasonings why it is imperative we act right then: There might not be a situation like this again, It will be beneficial for you as well, It's the RIGHT thing to do, or even that this could be God's design and plan for you. As a kid you can come up with a million reasons not to that are completely justified in your head. The problem I have is sometimes I find that all of those childish reasons haven't necessarily left my head and certainly not be replaced by adult and mature-like motivation to "do it anyway!"
Today marks my 13th week of pregnancy and I dare say I think I'm going to live. My brain is a little less mushy and I seem to be feeling better overall. Thankful as I am, as this has happened I've been met with just a circumstance as described above. What I want, I cannot have. Instead, it is clear to the adult in me that my efforts and energies will be put to good use in another area - a situation most likely providentially provided. And yet, my heart says "but I don't wanna!"
We were blessed to spend the afternoon at Ken & Laura Butler's house yesterday for lunch and fellowship. If you've ever been there, you'll know they have a beautiful example of nature at work, highlighting animals, outdoors and some of God's best and cutest creations. There is a child-like spirit that I fear many lose if not cultivated. Riding a horse, watching tiny kittens sleep, just sitting on the porch swing talking are examples of things that I think our souls need to experience and appreciate daily to really see Him. So, when I speak of childish attitudes, I guess I'm referring to a very basic selfishness. A selfishness that is just too strong to let go. It can be a daily battle, I think, but perhaps if we fill our thoughts with grand appreciation for the beauty and accept the opportunities God provides with more of that appreciation, selfishness can be easier to let go of.
If you haven't yet, do something outside this week before it starts heating up to a more summer-like temperature. Spring is never long enough. :)