Hey 2018: Let's CRUSH IT!

  After the heavy challenges of last year, Mr. Butler and I both have been looking forward to starting fresh in 2018. We've grown closer together. We have dreamed more together.  And I'm generally just happier with him than ever!  One of my favorite things about him and our relationship is his ability to make me laugh.  I can be a stick in the mud and he is the best medicine for me.  Our first major conversation of 2018 is a perfect example.

So, selecting a word to inspire and guide you over the course of the year is s trending thing to do these days.  Around 1:00 AM  Jan. 1st, on our way home from singing in the new year, I asked him what word he would pick for us for 2018.  Mind you, he's amped up on caffeine and he's extra funny that way.  He's driving and looks at me straight in the eyes long enough to say "CRUSH IT" with a super serious face.  It was ridiculous, but cute.  I said, "That's two words.  Try again with only one word."  He thinks for a minute and then with a good '80s style motivation in his voice he says, "CRUSHIT! One word!" with a fist pump in the air.   Ridiculous but I laughed hard.


So, for now we are attempting to CRUSH IT in 2018.  I'm implementing some better chore routines for the kids, working to be more disciplined with my lesson planning and writing time, Mr. Butler and I both have some major weight-loss goals we're working on, trying to replenish some savings that 2017 depleted, and overall maintain the good things in our life (aka our circus!).  Thankfully, my best friend is pretty awesome and tries to keep this girl from taking herself too seriously.  I don't always listen, but he's good for the soul anyway. :)

You Need a Plan, Stan

I'm still in shock.  When you spend years talking and planning for something, the actual realization of it all sometimes sneaks up on you.  We are moving next month!  We didn't intend to until next year some time, but THE house that fit ALL the criteria for a reasonable price fell into our laps.  It was a fast, scary decision, but it was a good one.  We're really excited - except for J.  He wanted our next house to have an upstairs and the new one does not.  Sad story, but he'll get over it!  Anyway, we're really excited, except for the impromptu packing and planning right before the holidays.  We close in 3 weeks or so!  It is all so surreal that I sometimes take unnecessarily long pauses before I decide to do something because "wait, I'm moving in a month, should I bother with this?"  Still, getting to start anew with a better space for our family's needs and more outdoor space is pure joy!

The interesting thing that struck me was how valuable having a plan  or a goal has been and continues to be.  Some people scoff at the idea of a plan because 'things NEVER go as planned' and 'you CAN'T predict the future', right?  That really assumes that in having a plan I expect the plan to be exactly carried out.  There's a fun saying that goes something like "Shoot for the moon.  Even if you miss you'll land in the stars."  Sounds sweet, but that is the kind of planning I do.  Plan to lose 15 pounds.  Even if you only lose 10, you still lost 10 pounds!  We had a list of must haves for the new house and did not intend on making an offer on a new one until we were ready to put our current home on the market.  Since we had such specific guidelines, when the right house came along we knew it and jumped on it!  Technically things didn't go according to plan because our house isn't ready and even if it were, it's November.  But, see the stars we landed in? We found the perfect house with all of our important criteria and hit a major milestone in our little family.

When Jude was first born, I knew I wanted to try homeschooling.  Even when he was 6 months old I started planning for his next stage of development like a teacher.  Did I do everything perfectly and become super organized with every craft and developmental activity instinctively designed for his current needs? Nope.  But it was the beginning of my own shaping as a mother and teacher.  The idealistic plans that sometimes never even came close to reality got us in the ballpark and made me aware of what needed to come next.  Plans point us in a good direction and often give us a big push off the couch.  If you're off  the couch and moving, then you're lapping everyone on the couch, right?  Maybe you really desire a stress-free holiday or a holiday season where you save money rather than overspend.  Plan for those things.  Want a deeper relationship with your spouse or a de-cluttered house by next year.  Think ahead and schedule things toward that end.  Even if/when you don't stick to the plan perfectly or life happens, you'll still be better off.  When we plan, we think through the problems and possible solutions - something I often don't bother with until it's too late.

Since we're moving in the middle of the busiest month of the year, I'm still struggling to get a handle on a good plan for how to manage it all.  But see - at least I'm thinking about it all beforehand and not having a panic attack the week before because I hadn't considered any of it before.  There will still be panic attacks, I'm sure, but they won't be a surprise!  In most every case, something is better than nothing and starting with any kind of plan (even if it doesn't come close to reality) is far better than not having thought any of it through.

4 Things to Do Before You Give Up

We live in quite a complicated time, don't we?  Lots of corruption, violence, and circumstances we never dreamed of.  This week I had a hard time with motivation and productivity.  That mountain (be it laundry or a painful conversation) just seemed insurmountable.  

Good news, though.  It wasn't.  Insurmountable, I mean.  With my head, sometimes it's just a matter of figuring out what I'm lacking and my whole perspective will change.  Balance is everything, I tell you.  What I really needed was a couple of hours to clean, on a Saturday morning when the air feels different, just because it is Saturday.  I needed a little play time with my sweet girl and then to pass by her room a few times, knowing she's sleeping.  It all was beautiful therapy for me today.

Angry or bitter thoughts, bleak outlooks on the world can seep into our hearts and convince us that everything is futile and pointless.  To continue in the midst of controversy or struggle is foolish, you think.  If you find yourself here, as I have lately, here are a couple of things to consider first:

1) Check the Weather.  The weather affects us in so many ways.  How many days has it been since the sun was shining?   Maybe part of your foul mood is due to all the rain/snow/ice/heat you've had lately! Is a full moon coming around soon?  Ask any teacher, police officer or ER professional.  The full moon can do crazy things to people - myself included!

2) Check your Intro/Extroverted Status.  How long has it been since you recharged? Neglected our natural temperament's needs can do more damage than you'd think.  Just a couple of hours with no one to talk to or think about frees and feeds me in a way nothing else can!

3) Check your Fat.  Are you getting plenty of good fats and omegas (fish oil)? Adding this one element to your diet and supplements can make a huge difference in your brain activity and mood.

4) See the Good.  We easily latch on the bad, the worrisome and the ugly.  No matter what is going on in the world, there is still beautiful, wonderful things.  Take some time to soak them in before you give you to quickly!

 

Consider the Reset Button Pushed

I'm going to be 34 on my next birthday.  I just watched an episode of Parenthood where Kristina tells someone she's 34.  That can't be right because she's married, has 3 kids and, like, my mom's age.  Except it is right and for some reason I always see my mom about the age that I started recognizing her as a separate person - so somewhere around 34 probably.  Aside from the, "Wow, I'm old" feeling, it got me thinking about how easy it is to get stuck in time somehow, not progressing, but just assuming that everything is being tended to.  All the while, if you're not careful you quickly grow into the thing (s) you hate and denounce.

One of the things most important to me in my life is authenticity.  I hate small-talk and fake personas.  I'll even scoff at flowers that are fake purely on principle.  Come on, people, be real!  And yet.  And yet I have a confession to make.  I want so badly to keep you from thinking badly of me some days that I work my tail off to not be real.  My mind is constantly overrun by thoughts of judgements you may or may not be making about the real me.  How can I avoid them and what could I do/say to combat them or justify myself?  It's exhausting.  And a little disgusting.  I hate it when people won't just be honest with me when I ask them how they are doing.  If I didn't want to know, I wouldn't ask.  But then I get all twisted up in knots trying to say just the right thing so I won't sound pathetic or weird to you.  Why do I herald authenticity to the masses, but hesitate to tell you how much I hate cleaning my house and that I only do it because I figure you'll say I'm a bad person if I don't?

So, here's the deal.  Kid #1 liberated me in some really important ways.  Kid #2 is waking me up to the reality of how short life is.  With those things under my belt, I'd really like a reset button.

Consider the reset button pushed.

Let's start with life right now.  Summarizing something in a few sentences makes it seem easier than it really is.  My husband is getting his MBA while working full time and I have two kids, two dogs and teach piano part-time.  One sentence there, but that one little sentence is so much.  And so hard.  Having two kids is hard.  Doing anything else is even harder.  And I really want to do EVERYTHING else too.  I'm optimistic that it gets easier, mostly because everyone says so.  Until then, writing is the best way to keep me from stagnating and poisoning everything around me. (I can get pretty cranky)

What's your favorite motivator when life is harder than it feels like it should be?