Learning Review: Kumon Practice Books

Workbooks and worksheets get a bad rap as mindless, rote busywork intended only to occupy  kids and give adults a break.  In my few years of living with a homeschooling mindset, workbooks have found their place in our learning and I owe a lot of it to Kumon Practice Books.  In the beginning of trying to teach your child anything there always seems to be at least one large panic point, where you fear your child is waaaay behind and it is all your fault.  That was the point in the journey with my oldest where I tried out Kumon's 'My First Book of TRACING' and discovered the very gradual nature of learning we often ignore or forget about.  Especially at young ages, this learning isn't a race or full of legitimate deadlines.  Learning is a process that we feed.

Amazon.com describes the Kumon method like this:

"Kumon workbooks are based on the "Kumon Method", an educational philosophy that aims at unlocking the full learning potential of each individual child. The Kumon Method introduces learning concepts in an incremental, step-by-step approach, allowing children to master new skills easily and without anxiety or frustration. As a result, children gain confidence in their abilities and are motivated to learn on their own."

What I loved:  

The illustrations are fun and vibrant with color.  There are a variety of subjects and age levels available.  There are clear, yet flexible age suggestions that makes it easy to determine its appropriateness for my needs.  Price has been reasonable for a supplemental resource.  Most importantly, every page builds on the last, making the skill building gradual and fun!

What it lacks: 

There could be a better mix of games and writing practice as well as a larger number of games in the mix.  Repetitive practice is important at certain skill levels, but a greater variety could be used to better engage the fast-paced learner.

During the preschool years with my oldest, no matter what curriculum we were using, we would invariably get bogged down every 3 or 4 weeks (at least).  Taking a break with one of these books always provided us with the change of pace we needed while laying foundation for another important skill.  My son always celebrated and thought he was being rewarded when I pulled a Kumon book out!

Treehouse Adventures: Live. Love. Explore. Together.

TREE HOUSE
A tree house, a free house,
A secret you and me house,
A high up in the leafy branches
Cozy as can be house.
A street house, a neat house,
Be sure to wipe your feet house
Is not my kind of house at all- 
Let's go live in a tree house. 
― Shel Silverstein, Where the Sidewalk Ends: The Poems and Drawings of Shel Silverstein

Have you ever had a treehouse adventure?  There's something magical and exciting about the feeling you get as you're about to embark on this grand, albeit pretend, concoction of whims and problem solving.  Sometimes it's clouded in secrecy or surprise.  Other times it is a battle you fight with comrades.  In every case it is something that brightens your spirit and strengthens your roots.  I've discovered that this special place and feeling is what I want my family to experience regularly when we're together.  

Checking out a fuzzy caterpillar.

I want our family to be a free, secret you and me, cozy as can be house where we can all find the things we need from each other.  A tree house away from the hard world where we play, regroup, have heart to hearts and prepare for the battle ahead.  When personalities clash or down time is crowded out by schedules, families find it hard to connect and enjoy each other.  Like so many other things, if we don't set out to intentionally create a vibrant spirit that binds us to each other, it isn't likely to develop easily on it's own.  With our time sucked into electronics, meetings, umteen practices or events separate and way from our family, there is little time to invest in each other the way we were designed to - the way we need to.

The spirit/vibe/nature/dynamic of our family effects us the rest of our days.  Being a part of this family will mean more and more every year.  The impact on others will sink deeper and deeper, like a vine gaining strength the further it goes.  I think that is worth getting it right, don't you?  

So we have begun Treehouse Adventures.  We might not necessarily say it out loud, but every time we go on a trip, take a walk to visit the horses, read books together or even take on the most mundane projects together, we are investing in our family, every one investing in each other.  I know that a lot of families and communities do stuff like this all the time, but perhaps never label it as anything.  Doing things together is what's most important, but I think verbally and outwardly acknowledging it to each other highlights the importance and value of it all.  

There are many complaints about the deterioration of the family and communities that value one another.  We complain that our spouse/children/friends aren't filling our needs or taking part in our lives.  We complain about poverty and crime.  We complain.  And then we go right back to our phones or televisions and expect the change to come from somewhere else.  I'm guilty of this all the time.  But our families are the first place we will learn from.  If we're demonstrating and nonverbally advocating disconnection, then so much is lost before it has had a chance to start.  We should not and shall not ever get rid of distractions and sources of disconnection, but intentionally seeking treehouse adventures within your friends and family life helps us to make good use of the connected opportunities we do have.

Life is so hard sometimes in so many ways.  Let's bring more good into our families, our marriages, our moments and experiences - overcome the evil with good!  What does your treehouse adventure look like today?

Commitment: The Missing Ingredient

As a child, I gained the reputation of being strong-willed.  In common conversation, that is usually heard as a bad thing - and yes it can be - but it is really a characteristic that most people these days are in need of.  Having a will that is strong is important, as long as it is pointed the right direction.  The struggle as a parent of the strong-willed is teaching them to direct it appropriately.  Being strong-willed against wearing your seat belt is not appropriate.  Holding firm with that strong-will in the face of hopelessness or peer pressure - very fruitful direction.

As an adult, my strong-will is no less complicated at times (I can be stubborn, hurt easily and inclined to hold grudges), but it has given me a great blessing that I never would have anticipated.  A strong-willed, highly sensitive, creative introvert is set up to find friendships difficult.  So sometimes the comfort of principles is easier to obtain. (There he goes, off to write that hit song, "Alone in my Principles"-That Thing You Do)  While I stink at maintaining friendships, I seemed to have been blessed with several helpings of commitment, especially when the principles are close to my heart.

I hate cleaning up.  I'm a lousy housekeeper mostly because it seems so futile and doesn't change the world enough.  That's probably the reason that I left the dishes on the table after lunch with almost half of an omelet left (that would have been a great snack) while I put the kids down for a nap.  Of course, when I returned Grace (the dog) is just finishing the crumbs up.  I was so mad, but at who?  I couldn't be mad at anyone but myself because I knew she is inclined to do such things and I did not clean up in a timely manner nor have I worked to train her out of such behavior.  Most of our complaints as adults (especially parents) is stuff that is changeable, but not easily changeable.  Sure we could do things differently to ensure a certain outcome, but frankly we're not that committed. And some things, in some seasons in life, aren't worth the extra effort.  If that's the case, great, but can we tone down the complaints about it?  

Over the past 2 years, my life has been full of really difficult challenges.  Not a complaint, just something to note.  Health issues, time management issues, financial pressure, and personality conflicts galore make quitting (or not even trying to begin with) the best looking option most days.  This past month, certain things have really started to turn the corner and I look to be decidedly out of the valley.  God is good and I'm so thankful for answered prayers.  In addition to God's grace, I think my stubborn strong-willed self has done me some favors.  I'm very committed to natural health.  I'm very committed to pleasing God completely.  I'm very committed to the health, education and good behavior of my children.  I'm very committed to the outdoors and all they provide.  If I wasn't emotionally bound to all of these ideals, quitting would be my job.  A professional quitter.  Because quitting is easy and life is hard.

As a child of the 80's, I've always been tempted to find the spot (job, relationship, method) where everything just flows.  If life didn't flow, then I must be in the wrong job/relationship/method.  There is truth in committing your life to God's ways and then that way will be blessed.  Still, in that commitment, there is mountains of work.  My intention is to encourage you to revisit the things that are important to you, the realities that you want for your life.  Then don't quit.  If this way doesn't work, keep at it and find another way.  It won't magically fall into place most times.  But over time with plenty of work and constructive planning, a harvest is reaped.  

I love that my son is learning to read.  By this time next year, he should be reading books all on his own!  I think of the 5 years Mr. Butler and I have spent reading to him and around him.  Imagine if we had only done so for a couple of months?  Good, worthwhile things take time and all-in commitment.  Everything takes more time than you're likely to expect.  Don't give up yet.  And next time you get frustrated with someone's (maybe your own) stubborn will, remember it must need to be pointed in a different direction!  

Honor the Past by Honoring Others

I'm not a person who has a past riddled with pain and tragedy.  I've lost 3 grandparents, an uncle, and then a handful of friends, but nothing so personal as a spouse or a child.  This week marked an anniversary of a sweet Roscoe's passing and then we received word of a sweet family's loss of a precious little girl.  Miss Z is just a little bit older than Carly and that combined with my overactive empathy bone, I'm just over here sobbing during nap time.

The pain we endure, directly and indirectly, is usually ugly and for little profit.  I know nothing of a parent's painful loss so I will not pretend to offer some cheap quote that presumes simplicity and order.  I never actually met either child and I'm a blithering mess over them both.  Clearly I've not mastered simplicity and order.  Still, my heart wants to do something and so I write.

So, as an introverted mother who is homeschooling, gardening, working (from home) part time and a lousy housekeeper in the first place, I've seen why moms need a break from their kids.  It is challenging to be everything to everyone in every situation.  But today as I weep for families who have lost, I'm convicted to honor the little innocent souls who look to me and every other adult to make sense of their world.  It's so easy to communicate annoyance to our kids.  They pester and whine and argue.  It's so tempting to diminish their needs or experiences because we have weightier matters to worry about.  They are messy and complicated.  But so am I.

While we have today with tiny fresh souls (or even the jaded, old souls), let's do more than just survive a moment.  See it through the window of the future when, whether through loss or maturity, these trivial moments will cause your heart to swell with yearning.  Give those you love more honor today.  The past cannot be changed, but you can honor it through the relationships you feed today.

Right before Miss Z was born, we planted a peach tree in our yard.  My parents used to have one before their home was hit by a tornado a couple of months before that so we were hungry for it.  This year was the first season we had peaches.  The tree was full and we had already had 5 or 6 - delicious!  The other day I went to pick a few and I felt disoriented.  There wasn't a peach on the tree.  Not even on the ground half eaten!  Apparently, squirrels can and do wipe out a harvest over night once everything is really ripe.  I cried and Mr. Butler was ready to kill some varmints.  The taste we received of the sweetness of peaches wasn't enough.  It was delicious but it was over too soon.  These precious babies' lives were only beginning to charm us with their purity and joy.  And yet.  So, what can we do? What I can do is desperately try to live this way:

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say, Lord
Blessed be Your name

Family Matters

Family is a funny thing.  Some of us complain about what's missing from ours.  Others cut out the family we don't want to claim as ours.  And most of us just don't appreciate it much until much later in life.  As I think about how I want my children to appreciate their family experience, it's convicted me that I must model that for them.  

Last weekend I attended a family reunion and had a moment of reflection that just hasn't left me.  What does being family mean?  Different things to different people, of course.  One thing it really is, though, is a group of people who share experiences.  There are people, places and events that were shared over time and no matter the course of their life later, those common elements will remain.

There are billions of strangers that even if you meet you likely won't share more than a glance or a few words.  With your family, extended and immediate, you share hundreds of instances and events before you're even born!  Especially in childhood, there are only a certain number of people who will witness your many milestones.  Within each family group, there are certain people or items that have great significance (simply because you all were there together) that will hold no value to anyone outside of the group.  That commonality that you share with family members matters.  I believe it matters more than we think.  No matter where you are today, those people were witnesses in your life and the life of those you both love.  It matters because of that, I think.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that in most circumstances (not talking about abuse or criminal behavior), our various family circles deserve a little more love than we tend to give.  We forget that they were there too.  Sure, not all experiences are going to be the same, but the commonality of places and people means that their different experience might help us find better perspective sometimes.  With my own little family, I know that one day J & Miss Z will have conversations about their parents, probably complaining about how awful we are in some way.  And they will have the best tools in each other to better understand what's happening.

Family, big or small, near or far, isn't just some obligation to fulfill.  It is an obligation, but within it are endless opportunities and tools to grow and gain a better, richer experience - even separate from them completely.  In the past I've let myself get so caught up in how family makes me feel or how much I agree with them on this or that.  Discussion and principled debate has it's place but it shouldn't overshadow the respect we all deserve for being witnesses to each other's life.  Even more so when they were supportive and active witnesses.  May we work a little bit harder on loving for others' sake and honoring because of history's sake.

  

Is It Just Me or Does This Feel Harder Than It Has To Be?

When the morning begins with smoothie on the ceiling, you want to say why me, but that happens right?  When you're running late, but ridiculously trying to make it work anyway and dinner is delayed by un-popped corn and rice spilling all over the counter and floor,  the words "I quit!" begin to form in your mouth.  When there aren't enough hours in the day and you can't seem to find time to put up baby pictures of your almost 2 year old daughter, you start to feel really defeated.When you spend way too long trying to decide which brand of an unnecessary (yet super cool and handy) new gadget to buy, required to purchase said gadget before it is in hand, wait at the front of a story with hungry and tired kids too long only to be told that it isn't actually in stock and you'll have to stand in the customer service line to return the chunk of change you just gave them for nothing apparently and little miss starts screaming "Noooooo! Caaaar!" - well then the muscles in your neck begin to cramp, and the tears can't be stopped.

This afternoon I read something that I'm ashamed to say shocked the daylights out of me.  We are homeschooling our kids and since J is only 4, we haven't exactly gotten the hang of things yet.  So, I was reading an article on balancing school and keeping up with the house duties - something I'm really struggling with.  The first tip was to delegate.  Yes, my kids can help with a few things, but a large amount of time it is me teaching them to do things and taking twice as long to do so.  Not really helpful in the time department.  The rest of the article was helpful, but at the end were comments.  Several of those comments were from older homeschool moms stating that when their kids were small (like mine), they hired help to keep up with the house!  That there was no way they could keep up with small kids.  Forget the question of whether or not someone could afford such a thing.  My question is, how did I not know this already???  You mean I have been killing myself over here pathetically trying to keep up with EVERYTHING and you guys are saying it can't be done?

I felt justified and deflated all at the same time.  On the one hand, I knew that it was all too much for one person to reasonably manage, but I also felt discouraged at the thought of being given an impossible task.  I need completion and accomplishment for peace of mind and when I'm constantly feeling behind, my mental facets begin to crumble.  With all of the things in my life, it's difficult to complete projects or feel any sense of accomplishment when certain things (dishes) never end.  On the other hand, my insides are screaming, "I KNEW IT!" with a song of victory behind it.  Being a mom - any kind of mom (working, work at home, homeschooling, SAHM) requires tons and tons of time and energy, but certainly when they are small.  Trying to make things run smoothly and cleanly has been driving me mad for a while.  Understanding that no matter which way we organize or plan, running a household with small children is hard and requires a lot of (exhausting) work.

That realization, while perhaps simplistic, made me breathe a little easier.  It didn't change the amount of work that still has to be done in more time than I have to do it, but at least now I know it's not just me.  So, in case you're in like me or in some unavoidable circumstance that seems overwhelming yet maddeningly necessary, it's not just you.  It IS really hard.  In a lot of ways, it IS unfair.  But that family you're working for or that goal you're headed toward, it's totally worth it.  When my kids are grown and as a joke happen on to my writings, I hope they realize that it was ridiculously hard some days, but achieving the goals Mr. Butler and I have as a family are worth every bit of it.  

The Balance of Herbs for May 18th - 24th

Herb talk is not the only thing I intend to blog about, but it has been the first on my list (of trying to be more consistent), so you'll have to bear with me! 

Specials

-Become a member this week through me and get your choice of a free bottle of Lemongrass (15 ml) essential oil or Valerian Root (100 caps).

-Buy $20 of product from me and you'll receive 2 free empty amber bottles that are great for storing your personal essential oil blends in.

Events

June 1st - Toxic Invaders & the Importance of Fighting Them Head On hosted by The Herb Garden

Herb Talk

One of our free items is Valerian Root and it is a powerful thing to have in your cabinet.  Here is a little bit about it from one of my favorite clinical herbalists, Steven H. Horne.

"Valerian is one of the herbal kingdom’s powerful nervines.  The root of this plant has been used since the 2nd century AD and continues to be one of the more popular modern herbal remedies for insomnia, stress and mild pain.  

Unfortunately, it’s not one of the more pleasant smelling herbs.  The smell of valerian has been described as something akin to “moldy cheese” or dirty socks.

Despite its putrescent odor, cats seem to love the smell of valerian.  It intoxicates them much the same as catnip does.  Valerian root has also been used in rat traps to attract the rats to the poison.  It is no wonder that the Pied Piper is purported to have used it, along with his flute, in his extermination efforts."

To read more about Valerian, go here.

Wondering why herbs and why NSP?  Go here.

The Balance of Herbs for May 11th - 17th

Did you know that plants (herbs) are the original medicine? Many prescription drugs have parts of plants at their core.  As science chugs along, there are of course changes made and synthetic components added.  One of the things I love about herbal supplements and formulas is how much of their original state is maintained or combined in a gentle and complimentary way, rather than forced for convenience or sheer experimentation.

Would you like to know more about gentler alternatives for any health issue you might have?  There is so much information I can share with you if you're interested.  Want to look around at what kinds of products are available? Go here.  This week, May 11th - 17th, if you decide to become an NSP member through me, you will receive your choice of a bag of Love & Peas, vegan protein powder OR a 32 oz bottle of Liquid Chlorophyll. 

In the coming weeks there are going to be a lot of opportunities for learning about healthy living and natural alternatives over at The Herb Garden.  June 1st there will be a free class, Toxic Invaders & the Importance of Fighting Them Head On where you will learn several remedies for fighting illnesses of all kinds that don't require prescriptions and can often eliminate the extra trips to the doctor.  

Questions? Wondering if there is an herb for that?  There probably is! :)  Just ask - I'd love to help!

The Value of a Slow Life

In December, our family had the pleasure of visiting Ft. Walton Beach, Florida on an unexpected work vacation.  Mr. Butler had work stuff going on during the week so the kids and I had normal life with a phenomenal view!

The 6 months prior to this trip had been too full.  I overextended my physical body, jammed too much into our schedule and refused to accept no.  This negligence in listening to the needs of my body and family resulted in some major health problems that forced me to slow down and absolutely quit some days.  Seriously, not a good time for anyone.  But I started getting better and this trip slowed the freight train I'd been traveling on to a nice snail pace.  It was just what I needed, but it had to end.  Every time I get busy or stressed I can't just take a relaxing vacation.  So, as I prepared to return home and over the next few weeks of the busy holidays, I contemplated how simple abundance could begin to describe my life.  I couldn't change the era in which I was born.  I couldn't deny stress existing in my life from time to time.  

But there are some things I absolutely can change.  Things like organization.  When things have a place, a schedule, a plan, it simplifies things.  Staying on top of household management reduces my stress and strengthens my ability to handle other stresses when they come better.  So, first Monday back after the holiday and thanks to God's mercy I'm well and getting (and keeping) life more organized.  

I have power over how often I pray and study,  My communication barriers extend into my prayer life.  When life gets complicated or hard, I tend to shut down. That means even from God.  But of course that's the worst time to do so and it doesn't have to be.  Simply expressing to God (and others) what I need help with is a struggle but it's also the lifeline to moving past the hurdle.

The most challenging thing I have control over is how I value a slow life rather than idolizing the quick and urgent.  The contrast of our modern society with 50 or 100 years ago is constantly made, but then brushed aside with acceptance of 'life is just busier now'.  But I'm beginning to realize that this urgent busyness is just another temptation of our age like overspending, materialism or pornography.  Just because the neighbors have drunken parties until all hours doesn't mean I have to.  Same goes for so many things, yet because a lot of people feel compelled to demand neck-breaking speeds and packed schedules I feel like I have to as well?  The urgent and hectic will always find its way into your life, much like sorrow or sin, but we shouldn't give it a room to stay in as long as it likes.  

My instincts have always valued slow things like nature, growing your own food, building your own things and doing life for yourself rather than outsourcing the hard stuff.  All of that takes time, though.  After a very hectic and dysfunctional 6 months, I am convicted about the way I want my family to do life.  There is always a lot that can and should be done and I am learning that putting it off only makes life harder.  Still, working hard does not mean working stressed, rushed or frantic. Simple abundance starts in my heart and in the way I do life today.  

Today I wait with smiling eyes.  Today I try again with hope.  Today I ignore the billions of other people that pretend to be in my back yard.  Today I honor the ones set before me with focus and intentional love. 

Where Did All My Social Grace Go?

One of my favorite things about being human is our ability to change for the better.  For all of my high expectations and grand desires, I have some large cavities where my social grace should be.  I think and feel so much, but the things I intend to express and demonstrate have a difficult time coming to the surface in the moment it's needed.  Not everyone can be the perfect host or the most gracious conversationalist, I know.  Still, it has effected my friendships and I'm understanding how valuable friendships are to my health.  And that means I need to change for the better.

In the past I've gotten angry at certain quirks I possess and try to ignore or change them.  Things like I'm bad under pressure (even mild pressure) or being tired or overstimulated makes me more emotional and reactive.  Ignoring them didn't change the painful outcome.  Trying to change the way my body is wired is pretty hard too.  So what do you do? Being wired or even conditioned a certain way doesn't necessarily justify the results.  The only thing, next to prayer and God's mercy, that helps is to accommodate and plan for the quirks. 

We have some pretty special new years traditions that I love, but aren't ideal for an awkward highly sensitive person.  This year I felt a victory because I took a necessary break to catch my breath, let my kids rest, etc.  I suppressed the fear that I might miss something and instead did what my family needed.  A victory for sure, but I still found myself reactive and keeping a distance from those I desire a better relationship with.  

The double-edge of adulthood is that you're able to unearth the pain and distortions of youth and hopefully put them to rest indefinitely.  The trouble is what you're left with sometimes leaves much to be desired.  When I was a teenager I really thought of myself as a people person.  I could soak up the dynamics of people and loved to over-think what it all meant.  Now as an adult I realize I'm not a people person, but more of a principle and deep feeler person.  I can stick to my guns and feel the weight of the world with the best of them, but it has left me poorly skilled in friendship. 

In 2015, I want to make a difference.  One of the most significant ways I can do that is through what I teach my children.  We often learn how to have friends and be a friend from our family.  I don't want to leave a legacy of awkwardness or arms length relationships.  I won't ever be your hostess with the mostest, but I'm praying this year I will learn the skills and habits of being a good friend.  If you ever want to teach me some friendship skills or help me practice, feel free! Just be prepared for a few deer in the headlights interactions at first!

Lessons Learned in 2014

I tell Jude whenever he complains that something is too hard, "We are Butlers.  Butlers do hard things!"  He has inherited my impatient, give up before you've tried much at all approach to new and challenging things so it has become an ongoing theme for the family.  2014 has been full of hard things and I've learned (the hard way too often) some lessons.

-Communicating is one of the hardest things for me to do effectively.  Still, communicating awkwardly or poorly is better than shutting down completely for too long.

-The sensitive makeup of my body requires me to respect my physical boundaries better than I have.  If I'm to stay healthy, stay emotionally SANE and fulfill the roles I'm given, I have to sleep better, exercise a lot, eat well, and keep stressful situations at a minimum.

-A peaceful, abundant spirit does NOT come from being busy, doing what everyone else is/seems to be doing, or griping about my problems.

-In every relationship, but especially my marriage, it is necessary to balance the fact that I can learn a lot from you and you can learn a lot from me.  It is easy to demand it be one-sided.  We all have things we bring to the table and we all have space to learn from others.


I feel convicted to make a difference in the lives of others around me, but often I feel so limited by who I am and the season of life I'm in. It's also become clear that I cannot continue a hectic pace of life, at least I can't and remain healthy.  As a result, the idea of simple abundance has become my focus. So, 2015, I have a goal or I guess you could call it a theme I plan to use throughout the year.

Make a Difference with Simple Abundance

What are you hoping to do in 2015?