Lessons Learned in 2014

I tell Jude whenever he complains that something is too hard, "We are Butlers.  Butlers do hard things!"  He has inherited my impatient, give up before you've tried much at all approach to new and challenging things so it has become an ongoing theme for the family.  2014 has been full of hard things and I've learned (the hard way too often) some lessons.

-Communicating is one of the hardest things for me to do effectively.  Still, communicating awkwardly or poorly is better than shutting down completely for too long.

-The sensitive makeup of my body requires me to respect my physical boundaries better than I have.  If I'm to stay healthy, stay emotionally SANE and fulfill the roles I'm given, I have to sleep better, exercise a lot, eat well, and keep stressful situations at a minimum.

-A peaceful, abundant spirit does NOT come from being busy, doing what everyone else is/seems to be doing, or griping about my problems.

-In every relationship, but especially my marriage, it is necessary to balance the fact that I can learn a lot from you and you can learn a lot from me.  It is easy to demand it be one-sided.  We all have things we bring to the table and we all have space to learn from others.


I feel convicted to make a difference in the lives of others around me, but often I feel so limited by who I am and the season of life I'm in. It's also become clear that I cannot continue a hectic pace of life, at least I can't and remain healthy.  As a result, the idea of simple abundance has become my focus. So, 2015, I have a goal or I guess you could call it a theme I plan to use throughout the year.

Make a Difference with Simple Abundance

What are you hoping to do in 2015?

Finding Balance Through Simplicity

Balance is what I'm always striving for, but sometimes there's so much going on, so many priorities, so many to do's that I don't even know what balance is supposed to look like anymore.  For me, when I reflect on where to go next and feel pulled in a dozen directions, that is a sign that I need to simplify somehow.  Here are a few ways that we can seek balance through simplifying today.

-Just because I live in an American society doesn't mean I have to have, get or do more. Not today anyway.  Today, be content with what you have.  And think of how you would live if you lost it.

-Sometimes we glorify the exciting, the rarity, the extra special things.  Today, put that excitement and enjoyment into an every day task, as though it were a royal celebration.  My attitude towards my day is all in my perspective of it.

-We all like to multi-task, especially when it gets more done quicker, but sometimes that heavily decreases the quality and intrinsic value of the task.  Today, do one task at a time.  Take out the television or ipod as a friendly distraction.  Stop typing when you're having a conversation.  Give undivided attention or don't give attention at all.  Try it and see what's different.

You Are Missing the Point

If I were to begin focusing my energy with Jude on learning 2nd grade math (he's 18 months old), what would you say to me?  You wouldn't tell me that 2nd grade math is a bad thing for him to learn.  You couldn't even call me a bad mother or say that I don't love my son.  Math is a good thing to learn and something that will benefit him his whole life.  But you should say something like, what's the rush and how important getting some other skills mastered first is.  Let's work on saying 2 word phrases first, right?  Yeah, it's just a waste of energy to neglect the simple building blocks of his development for a complex skill that, even if he were to grasp in some ways, wouldn't be all that helpful for a while.

What does this have to do with anything? Well, I feel like this has to do with everything I see right now.  In  our rush to be bigger, better, smarter, faster, wiser, richer, even more spiritual in some circles, there is a lot of neglect for simple building blocks of life.  


To be independently wealthy, its highly unlikely that all you can get there in a few months, piggybacking on someone else's idea and hard work.  Work.  Make money. Save money. Repeat.  Simple building blocks.  The big ideas and huge opportunities, if they come, will come later.


To be faster - faster athlete, faster learner, faster success - you must be able to do whatever it is slower and do it well.  Only then can you successfully perform faster.  If you just try to do everything fast, you'll stumble, drop the ball, run into others because you weren't paying attention and ultimately fail.  Slow down.  Master.  Speed up a bit.  Repeat.  Simple building blocks.  Being quick in all areas may come, but not today and not without work.


To be wise or more spiritual does not demand fingers in every pie.  Spiritual wisdom is not achieved by involvement in large projects, doing x number of good works and being skilled in Church Drama 101.  I know its easy to think that it is, but that's like going to the gym every day, just watching.  It doesn't make you any healthier.  Sure you learn a few things, but health - spiritual or physical - is not achieved by osmosis.  The sins and secret life we carry around, much like toxic fat, isn't going to just evaporate.  And whether you feel it or not, it is poisoning your life.  Self-reflect.  Confess.  Purify.  Heal.  Repeat.  Start with simple building blocks.  Without these, the rest is irrelevant. 

I am tempted daily to DO so many things.  Big projects to start, good works to maintain, wonderful wonderful things that most would applaud me for!  And, like I said, they are good things.  And maybe next week one or two will make it to my To-Do List.  But do you know something? I make them pointless and irrelevant by the things I neglect.   Things like my motives and attitudes towards those I am helping or others in need.  Things like neglecting a bleeding marriage and disobeying direct commands to respect and honor my husband.  Things like showing no regard for God's wisdom or opinions in how I spend my time, use my mouth or treat my family.  The world debates over how to bring about peace, end hunger and positive change.  I don't know the answer, but I know that if I abuse and neglect the things and relationships that I have the most control over, the simple building blocks, I'm much more of the problem than the solution.