Throughout my life's education, one of the biggest concepts that always resonated with me has been how one size just doesn't ever fit all. We don't learn at the same rates, we don't grow at the same rates, and a cure for one might be poison for another. As a young mother, that was always evident when babies are starting to talk and walk. We act as though it's a race or a competition, but it's really not. This year has given us a concentrated dose of other people's lives (while ironically being cut off directly) and too often we still aren't getting the message that we're all different. Many celebrating holidays this week and are coming from entirely different places emotionally. We should never buy into the idea that everyone needs to (or has to) experience it the same way.

I have loved ones who have suffered great tragic losses this year. There are friends who have gone through massive changes in their lives. I also know those who are suffering financially. Some families and relationships have experienced beautiful healing and growth this year. There are those who are simply sick themselves. Some of us are struggling with anxiety and depression. New babies, sad divorces, exciting marriages, new homes, job changes, and great losses. All of these and more have happened all around us this year.

My little brother and his beautiful family moved back to our area after spending their whole married life out of state. The past several days I've gotten to spend time with my niece and nephews that I've not really every been able to before and it has been wonderful! There were moments yesterday when I started to feel guilty for my joy simply because I know others who struggled to enjoy the days because of personal loss or struggles. I know it is right to be content and joyful with my circumstances when it arises, but I have to admit the pit of guilt I had to fight off just the same. As I thought about that, I realized how often we strive for others to experience the world like we are, but usually fail miserably. The loss anyone is feeling right now needs to be honored by those that feel it most. The joy of reunion and family needs to be celebrated by those that feel it most. Our lot of celebration or mourning will undoubtedly change from what it is today so there is no need to force it somewhere it doesn't belong. We will all celebrate and we will all mourn in due time.

Good deeds and painful trials both deserve honor.

As we live in a free country that recognizes our freedom to live a quiet and peaceful life as suits our needs, we should honor those in our life with a similar respect to engage the world as they need to. When we start expecting everyone to adhere the same way in holidays, in circumstances or just feeling the way we feel, we are trying to argue with the beautiful design of man. We are made in the image of God, but as we see the complex differences between one person to the next, it is clear His image manifests itself in a variety of ways at a variety of times.

If you're mourning, honor it with everything you have. If you are celebrating, do not let it go without great joy. If you are growing, lean in to it to get where you are going. If you are broken and struggling, honor it and let others lift you up. I would never expect an essay out of my 3 year old the way I might with my 10 year old. Even two 10 year old kids side by side can't be expected to know/perform/think the same. Let's quit treating each other with such ignorance, but far more mercy and support. So, as you are closing out this perpetual circus of a year, feel what you feel, but give those around you that same privilege. We are not all in this together in the same way and that has to be understood and it has to be okay.

1 Corinthians 12:12-27

12 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit. 14 For the body does not consist of one member but of many. 15 If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? 18 But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. 19 If all were a single member, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.

21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” 22 On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, 24 which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, 25 that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. 26 If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.

27 Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.

This morning, as I was making my bed, I realized how much I would miss my little house. No, I'm not moving anytime soon, but we have some goals over the next couple of years with moving being one of them. And you know how it is. The (cheap) carpet is definitely showing its true colors and the ancient wiring in the bathroom keeps the light from staying on consistently and everything else like it. All screaming at me, "Your new house won't be like this!"

So, moving has been on my mind, but for some reason I thought of actually walking out the front door and never coming back to call it home. I'd already done that once in my life and it was traumatic. Sure, its just a house and I know some people live in 15 different places throughout their lifetime. But, not me and my entire marriage was housed here. My beautiful son was born in the living room! And on it goes, all the sentimental things that I'll miss.

I turn to Randy, who is in the bathroom putting in his contacts, and officially inform him that although I most definitely want to move (and ASAP!), know that I will deeply mourn this house. As you would expect he chuckled and said ok, with that 'you're crazy but I'm getting used to it' kind of look. When I was much younger and my family moved out of my childhood home, I was so excited that I didn't look back. Full speed ahead!! And I crashed and burned (emotionally) really hard.

My point is this: Change - even when its the healthiest, most beneficial, most RIGHT change - is hard and requires a little bit of mourning. A new car, a new school, new friends, new routines even! Sometimes we ignore our need for mourning because a change is normal, necessary or something that happens really fast. But acknowledging somehow what the old represents or meant to our life is healing and nourishing somehow. As babies turn into men and structures decay, life will not be the same. And while that's okay, to maintain our balance we have to honor all that those babies and once new entities were and meant before we can embrace the bright future.