Why 'Screen Time' Matters in Our House

The screen time debate has been building for a while and recently a few have been extra vocal for their support (or lack thereof) for limits.  I even shared an article on facebook that spoke of several reasons why handheld devices should be banned for all kids 12 and under.  That article especially ruffled some feathers and it's rebuttals like this and this made some good points.

Here's what I think...

In my children's lineage there is a history of addiction and abuse in several areas.  Mr. Butler and I both have addictive personalities - meaning if we allow ourselves, we can grow addicted to things really quickly.  And when I say addicted I'm encompassing the entire spectrum from the mild to severe.  Because of our family's history, our knowledge about our ownselves and the tendencies we are already seeing in J, moderation is very very important.  Screen time, like eating habits, exercise, what we fill our minds with, is a big deal in our house.  The more time we spend on computers, kindles, phones, ipads, etc., the less responsive we are to each other and to our responsibilities.  In a similar way, the more junk food we eat, the less active we are, the more junk tv we watch, the worse our emotional, physical and spiritual health becomes.  Maybe your house isn't that way - and if so, I'm so glad for you!

I'm sure there are those who aren't as sensitive to some of these things, like screen time, as we are.  Banning media time is unrealistic and not exactly healthy, I absolutely agree.  We all find benefits and necessary uses for our electronic devices.  But in my experiences with my family, having unlimited availability is just suicide.  And I know we are not the only ones.  There is anecdotal evidence in all directions that too much of anything can be destructive.  Self-regulation and limits do not come naturally or at least not easily with us.  So we're training ourselves and each other with small amounts of media and lots of alternatives (outside, creative play, etc.).  For us, it's all about having a plan.

Ultimately, I see another case of imbalance and a one-size-fits-all assumption.  For some people, talk of banning media and screen time for children is necessary and good to get them considering setting limits at all.  For other people self-regulation and limits come so naturally in their world-view that the thought of banning anything seems dumb.  I think it is really great and really important to have this conversation.  Whatever the evil of the decade, we all have to find the line where it grows from helpful and positive to destructive and a big problem.  One of the larger problems we face is taking responsibility and proactively investigating what is best for our household, not just what the average American  requires. Sometimes it seems like a silly battle of the media and the government, but most issues like this should just prompt us to look into it ourselves and make a wise decision for the needs of your family.  Because in case you haven't noticed yet, every last one of us are different!  

Keeping Technology in Balance

Before I had even gotten out of bed the other day, my son was begging to watch something or play with someone's phone/ipad/kindle/ipod.  As of late, we had given into that request more often than not mostly because he did learn things from it (most of it) and it helped me focus on other things.  But the more we allowed, the more he wanted to consume! And the more he consumed the worse EVERYTHING got! He's 2, so of course he struggles with listening, obeying, throwing fits over the slightest no, etc., but whining and flat out ignoring had started!  It was just out of control.

So, yesterday I had decided that he would have an unplugged day.  No games, no tv, nothing.  He asked about it first thing and I made the proclamation! He slumped his shoulders, I changed the subject and we had a much better day.  He asked every few hours, but no fits about it.  And his listening and joy levels were through the roof!  This child was by far my favorite of the two days.

So, what?  Am I here to shame people who let their kids watch tv and vow to never let it enter the house again? Not at all.  I'd be a hypocrite if I even suggested such a notion.  I just want people (not just parents about their kids) to consider anything like tv or media and it's effect on your mood, thought patterns and energy level.  It effects what we do, how we think and how we feel.  Some is okay for most things, but taken over the edge and you find destruction.  We have to eat, but binging and lack of restraint make people unhealthy, fat and miserable.  Media is not much different.  We all have to use it, but too often we let it make us mentally fat!

For me (and apparently my offspring!) finding a balance means I have to set limits before I even start.  Here are some things that help us.

-Require certain tasks before indulging. I hate cleaning so for me personally I require myself to clean the kitchen and whatever large daily task (floors, dusting, etc.)

-Limit how long.  Duh, but it's hard when you don't plan it out before hand.  Just 5 more minutes can be the most alluring words on the planet sometimes.

-Pare down WHAT is being watched.  Pick your absolute favorite(s) or most beneficial (educational, cleanest, inspiring, encouraging) shows and don't fill time with fillers! We all watch just to watch if we're not careful.

-Start and end your day with God.  Whether it's in prayer, silence or reading scripture, your day will be more balanced and solid if you don't allow facebook, cartoons, or anything electronic to set your pace for the day/night.

We struggle being consistent with these, but when we are, there are never regrets!  There is an amazing world, full of amazing brains and creatures and life that we pass over so quickly if we're not careful.  As spring is on it's way, encourage your household to live in it fully!  I expect you'll find (like we do) that the tv and internet is so much easier to keep in perspective that way!