Balance and Be Balanced

Balance.  It's just a word, but in our lives it can mean a complete shift in experience.  

Feelings of inadequacy.  Jealousy.  Being overwhelmed.  Anger.  Bitter resentment.  All are very real feelings, but severely lacking something that would bring back balance.

Here lately, I have found some really great planes to set up shop in - a lot of joy.  And then in a moments notice, all of my ugliness can rise to the surface and I'm the fire-breathing dragon ready to devour all in my path.  One of the things that tells me is this:  Even in the midst of great triumphs and celebrations, balance is needed.  Balance is something to be maintained and regulated.

Are you like me and catch yourself shaking your head in disbelief at someone's foolish choices or destructive reactions?  Take a closer look and I expect you'll see where they are lacking some balance.  Do you ever shy away from strong personalities or those that differ greatly from you?  I do.  I don't want a fight or to make things worse than they already are.  Still, I underestimate how much any strong personality or opinion needs my or someone else's balance that they can bring.  A differing perspective, or even a simply lived life that avoids the well-beaten path, while might feel lonely some days, can be so useful and productive for the lives it touches.

Rabbit hole: There is a lot of unnecessary and destructive 'discussing' on facebook.  It is just not the place and it seems like too many have lost their minds, thinking that no one is going to read their displays of childishness except for those in the conversation.  So, when you consider getting involved in such a discussion, balance yourself with some discretion and class.  If it's important enough to be said, you probably can pick up a phone or send an email before you have to show your claws on social media.

Balance.  I'm so thankful that God asks more of me than just a devoted emotion or a singular ritual.  God's design, in all things, is a beautiful balance of standards, requirements, devotion, creativity and beautiful mercy.  It's so much more than where we are comfortable.  It's so much more than tears shed.

Instead of criticizing, complaining or giving up, ask what needs balancing.  Don't be ashamed of your life, but instead allow it to balance and be balanced by those around you.

 

Motherhood is Beautiful

This afternoon I had swaddled miss Z up and was bouncing her around (a pre-nap ritual anymore) while perusing facebook.  All in the same scan, I see two separate friends who recently had lost their mothers, some friends who are afraid they are about to lose their mother, and plenty of new baby pictures.  As I look at my daughter, desperately aware of the earth-moving events happening simultaneously, I see a very different picture of being someone's mother.

As a kid, and even a little now, a compliment from my mom is usually a paradox of sorts.  If she fails to compliment or notice something I've done well, then utter disappointment builds up.  And yet, as soon as the compliment rolls off her tongue, my brain smirks and says, "Yeah, but you have to say that.  You're my mother."  And to a point, it's kind of true.  The two kids sleeping down the hallway can throw crazy fits, highlight all of my inadequacies and make every mess imaginable and I'll still giggle at how 'cute' they are at any given moment.  All the milestones are significant mostly because they are being reached by MY child.

And yet, every hour of sleep I lose to feed or rock a baby is a choice.  Every diaper I change or every vegetable I make sure is eaten is a choice.  Mothering, while arguably highly instinctual for some, is most certainly a daily (hourly) choice.   It's a heart-breaking reality that some mothers do not make positive choices for their children - rejecting them, abusing them.  Those that do strive for their children's growth and well-being are much more valuable because we see that they have chosen to mother, when they could have chosen not to.  

Motherhood is beautiful.  Discovering a new human being and teaching them the world all in one breath is amazing.  And mom's do it every day.  But that's not even the best part.  Growth in every way possible creeps into your life, sometimes without even realizing it.  I know parenthood isn't for everyone, but if you're on the fence about whether or not to have kids, this is what tips it in favor.  Those precious little souls (that make me wonder what I did with all of that time I used to have) are changing me for the better.

Miss Z was sleeping and had another hour before needing to eat again.  J had confirmed my fears that he had contracted Hand, Foot & Mouth disease and went to bed loaded up with herbs and a fever.  Most things in the house had been straightened and I was wiping down the counters in the kitchen.  Suddenly, I had flashes of my grandma's kitchen all cleaned up and glowing in the dark from some lighting underneath the top cabinets.  All the kids and grandkids tucked away in a corner or couch somewhere before or after some big holiday like Thanksgiving or Christmas.  And the weirdest thing happened.  I didn't resent the cosmos for having to wipe down the counters or clean up dishes.  Having my own kids in their beds and finishing up my household tasks for the night was absolutely fulfilling.  It felt right and comforting and good.

Never before had I really understood why someone (moms usually) would work so hard to provide things like warm meals, clean beds and comforts of home from a place of joy.  It seemed to me they probably did it because no one else would and it was expected of them.  And of course sometimes those are the only reasons anything gets done, at least in this house for sure.  But in that moment I felt the incomparable joy of motherhood.

How to Brighten Your Day: Bird Style

So, they say it's the 'little things' that make all the difference.  I don't know if it's going to change my world by itself, but it certainly has given me a lot of joy! If you don't care about animals (first of all what's wrong with you, ha) then you might not appreciate this that much.  I have always enjoyed putting up bird feeders at our house.  The trick, as with everything, is continuing to put bird food in.  I did some work outside over the weekend and installed one of these with a regular bird feeder on my bathroom window:

It was something I found last fall at least and obviously hadn't been in a hurry to use.  Well, if I had only known! Because it's relatively small, the feeder hangs right over the outside ledge, requiring most birds to sit on the ledge or on the feeder up against the window.  As a result, I get little birds hopping all around my window within a foot (sometimes less) of my eyes! A few have already acknowledged my existence, I think, and continued anyway.

Yes, it's small, but it made my day two days in a row! It's a great thing to do for someone homebound, sick or just anyone needing a little more joy in their day!

Appreciate Away

It's Thursday and maybe you are counting the minutes until Friday while enduring the mundane.  It's January and maybe the excitement of the holidays has left and taken your joy with it.  It's winter and maybe your family is sick, which seems to be the case with a LOT of people right now.  It's 2011 and maybe you are stuck in the middle of controversy or drama that makes you want to crawl into a hole and stay there.  There are many things that way on us every day.  And they make us bitter, resentful and flat out negative about everything, whether it/they deserve it or not.  It is natural to find ourselves here, but unhealthy to live there.

All of these things can be distractions for us, blocking out all of the really beautiful and noteworthy things existing around us.  Last night Randy shared with me the guitarist Jeff Beck.  Oh, and by the way, Randy is an information and library junkie, constantly looking for new and different things, in case you hadn't noticed. :) Anyway, as I'm changing Jude's diaper last night, from the other room Randy is saying "Listen to this!" and proceeds to discuss whether or not Jeff Beck is playing with a slide.  Honestly, I was only half listening.  His rendition of "Over the Rainbow" was beautiful, sure.  But it was already late and I had to feed Jude again before we could go to bed.  I told him to save the cd on our computer and I could listen to it more later.  I was in no way appreciating it.  Too busy with other things.

This morning I took some time to listen to it more.  I've already listened to most of the album 4 or 5 times.  This guy provides an emotional experience with just an electric guitar (and back up of course, but hey)!  Sit for a moment longer and listen to it.  It's beautiful, don't you think?



How much beauty and notable things are in your life that you skim right over?  What unique lessons are you going to learn from the negative experience you're going through right now?  Basically, how much of your life are you missing because you're hung up on unhappy things?  There is beauty and joy in the most  unlikely of places and every day we choose to appreciate it or not! And if you would allow me to prove the point further, watch this video (that you may have seen before).  It makes me cry every time I see it!  Have a wonderful Thursday!