Adjusting Takes More Time Than We Think

They say that it takes a year to feel at home somewhere or to normalize from some loss or significant change. Even though in just over a month, we will have been in our new house a year, the change in weather has ushered in some unexpected contentment and closure to the chaos of it all.  For me, the singular familiarity of seeing our home from the street as the leaves are turning and dying has told my body I have been here before and that brings comfort and closure.

Sometimes in life there are traumatic events that chill us and change us forever.  Then there are simple, even positive changes that are only there to improve life but find a way to unbalance us just enough that everything else in life gets blamed for negative outcomes.  The former is largely a different conversation, but the latter may happen more than we realize.  I read something one time that said any change, regardless of positive or negative, resulted in stress in/on the body.  Outside looking in, we had a very good year - new house, promotions, pregnancy, 10th wedding anniversary and a few really neat opportunities.  All very good things.  Honestly, though, this year has been the most stressful year for all 6 (don't forget Grace & Liz) of us to date.  Hands down.  We've all taken (at least) some aspect of these changes really hard.  It's only taken us 11 months to get our bearings and start to truly enjoy these circumstances.

What this is teaching me is that, try as we might, sometimes we can't immediately fix or overcome this trouble or discomfort we find ourselves in.  Sometimes - some years - you have to just hold on tight, do the best you can, and trust that things will settle in eventually.  I don't know what you are battling today, but after you've done your best, take in a big breath of hope as you go to bed.  Hope of answers, hope of relief, hope of comfort somehow to make it all worth it.

The New Normal

Has your month/summer/year been a bit chaotic?  Have you seen a lot of emergencies? Maybe experienced a lot of loss?  Perhaps it is regional or something, but all around me has been event after event.  Not all of them negative, but certainly all powerful and overwhelming.  Lots of sickness and tragedies, as well as my own beautiful blessings that find every possible way to make every day feel like its been served up from a blender!  'Normal' life seems like a nostalgic joke or something.

On paper I realize that moving from one kid to two is always going to have this disorienting effect.  It's just like we know that as we get older, things are going to change.  More earthly adventures come to an end.  But despite knowing that, when it happens, we just have a hard time.  If we needed balance before, it's desperately so when our life makes a drastic shift.  So, what should we do - when our world changes and 'normal' may never happen again quite like before?

I'm sure it's different for every person and situation, but I guess we start here.

When parents of your friends pass away much too soon, this is a hard task.  When lives are uprooted in a matter of moments, this is a hard task.  Even in the early morning hours when laundry needs to be switched and a baby to feed, this isn't a casual assignment.  But that is just when we need this reminder to go along with it!

Lots of parents are sending their babies off to school for the first time.  Many people are starting new jobs right now.  And lots (and lots) of us are looking for a new normal because the old one has been taken away.  Whatever your old normal was, I pray we can all find some (no matter how slight) joy in the new normal you're experiencing this season.  And normal or not, hug those that you love.  Smile big.  And let it go, even if it's just for a moment or two.