They say that it takes a year to feel at home somewhere or to normalize from some loss or significant change. Even though in just over a month, we will have been in our new house a year, the change in weather has ushered in some unexpected contentment and closure to the chaos of it all. For me, the singular familiarity of seeing our home from the street as the leaves are turning and dying has told my body I have been here before and that brings comfort and closure.
Sometimes in life there are traumatic events that chill us and change us forever. Then there are simple, even positive changes that are only there to improve life but find a way to unbalance us just enough that everything else in life gets blamed for negative outcomes. The former is largely a different conversation, but the latter may happen more than we realize. I read something one time that said any change, regardless of positive or negative, resulted in stress in/on the body. Outside looking in, we had a very good year - new house, promotions, pregnancy, 10th wedding anniversary and a few really neat opportunities. All very good things. Honestly, though, this year has been the most stressful year for all 6 (don't forget Grace & Liz) of us to date. Hands down. We've all taken (at least) some aspect of these changes really hard. It's only taken us 11 months to get our bearings and start to truly enjoy these circumstances.
What this is teaching me is that, try as we might, sometimes we can't immediately fix or overcome this trouble or discomfort we find ourselves in. Sometimes - some years - you have to just hold on tight, do the best you can, and trust that things will settle in eventually. I don't know what you are battling today, but after you've done your best, take in a big breath of hope as you go to bed. Hope of answers, hope of relief, hope of comfort somehow to make it all worth it.