Adjusting Takes More Time Than We Think

They say that it takes a year to feel at home somewhere or to normalize from some loss or significant change. Even though in just over a month, we will have been in our new house a year, the change in weather has ushered in some unexpected contentment and closure to the chaos of it all.  For me, the singular familiarity of seeing our home from the street as the leaves are turning and dying has told my body I have been here before and that brings comfort and closure.

Sometimes in life there are traumatic events that chill us and change us forever.  Then there are simple, even positive changes that are only there to improve life but find a way to unbalance us just enough that everything else in life gets blamed for negative outcomes.  The former is largely a different conversation, but the latter may happen more than we realize.  I read something one time that said any change, regardless of positive or negative, resulted in stress in/on the body.  Outside looking in, we had a very good year - new house, promotions, pregnancy, 10th wedding anniversary and a few really neat opportunities.  All very good things.  Honestly, though, this year has been the most stressful year for all 6 (don't forget Grace & Liz) of us to date.  Hands down.  We've all taken (at least) some aspect of these changes really hard.  It's only taken us 11 months to get our bearings and start to truly enjoy these circumstances.

What this is teaching me is that, try as we might, sometimes we can't immediately fix or overcome this trouble or discomfort we find ourselves in.  Sometimes - some years - you have to just hold on tight, do the best you can, and trust that things will settle in eventually.  I don't know what you are battling today, but after you've done your best, take in a big breath of hope as you go to bed.  Hope of answers, hope of relief, hope of comfort somehow to make it all worth it.

Simply A House

There is a certain mystery as to how some inanimate object can be meaningless while simultaneously  facilitating the birth and growth of a family.  This house that we are about to move from in two days is just a house.  It was very good to us but there is much about it that I won't miss.  It is simply a house.  All of the important elements of my family are either coming with us or are greater at the new house.  And yet I have been preparing to grieve this house ever since we first seriously discussed moving (since before Miss Z was born).

This house sheltered a couple of naive newlyweds while they learned the hard work of marriage.  The neighborhood beckoned us on hundreds of walks and the horses nearby replenished our souls.  The walls of our living room witnessed both of the births of my children - their first cries and the most intense feelings we had ever had.  Our first gardens, birthday parties, skinned knees, tricycle rides, snow days, and puppies.  This house is just brick and shingles, but somehow it has attached itself to the identity of our family.  Because of all this, I have been praying for the next owners.  Mostly my prayers have consisted of a desire for the next owners to love the back yard and the unique neighborhood to be a safe haven for them like it was us.  It feels silly in one way, but it helps me grieve I guess.

If you have ever met J, you know how much this kid loves to hit a ball.  From the moment he turned 2 and was given his first baseball tee, he was begging Mr. Butler to play ball with him in the back yard.  The hours and hours they have spent in that yard will always be burned into my brain.  It just makes me love the house and yard more because it housed the growing of us.   The new house has an even bigger yard and will witness many more just as significant milestones, Lord willing, so the house really doesn't matter at all.  But sometimes in life, especially as we transition, it is difficult to let go of something until we can acknowledge it's significance.  No matter how glad I am to move on, I am so thankful God blessed our quick and (my) emotional purchase of this old house. So, to attest to some really great moments in our house, here are the pictures to prove it!