Letting the Notes Lead

There is something in human nature that compels us to put on a good face and act as though we have it all figured out.  In playing the piano, it's common to want to play a song perfectly the first time without allowing a few runs at it to figure out what's going on.  Many students work so hard at guessing and second guessing instead of taking a little bit of time to really understand what's expected.  "Is this right?"  "Oh, now I get it." All before they've really looked at it and figured it out on their own.

We all want that in life.  We want everyone else to think we've got everything all sorted out.  Instead of taking time to really see what life is all about, what a certain direction really means, we try to second guess everything.  Sometimes I can't go a day without dreading something, complaining about something, panicking about something.  How is that trusting God with my life?   I honestly catch myself trying to feed God plans like telling Him why this can't happen because that will result.  It's just
foolish.

With new piano songs, I still have to remind myself that nothing is too hard for me and just to let the notes lead me where it's going.  The parallel to our life is beautiful.  Whether it's through sickness, pain, struggle or blessing, God is trying to take us somewhere, mold something, cultivate growth somewhere.  It's us and our second guessing or micro-managing that gets in the way too often, I think.

Below are the lyrics to a beautiful song you might have heard.  This is really hard for me to swallow, but I  can't deny it's truth.  Who am I to decide what's going to bring about the best version of me for God?

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise