Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Personal Rights

"You can't build a divorce-proof marriage and remain unbending toward your personal rights."

I read that this morning and felt a large pang of guilt regarding just about any difficulty Randy and I have ever had.  I  have a problem with foregoing my personal rights.  Granted, it is easy for me to talk a good game.  I understand the value and benefit (not to mention that it's a commandment) of submission and honor in any relationship.  When a person feels safe and cared for, especially in a relationship, there is a better chance for cooperation and compromise. 

See? I can discuss it, showing a full understanding of what should be.  The thing is, if I feel like I am owed anything or unfairly treated, all the reason goes out the window.  If you're not giving me what you should, then I feel whole-heartedly justified to behave however I choose (which is probably badly).  It's awful.  Hateful words, unmerciful expectations and generally unforgiving (for a while at least).  I always come around, but not after doing a lot of unnecessary damage.  I think I would compare it to a tornado, considering the season.  

So, "unbending toward your personal rights" is a concept that I understand, but have never really learned to practice.  Any advice or pointers on how to bend in the personal rights department more quickly and automatically?

1 comment:

Laura said...

Living in a city where no one respects me or gives me rights without me demanding them has really brought this out in the open for me too. I seem to feel like if someone treats me badly then I can respond however I'd like. Not cool!

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