Thursday, February 4, 2010

How Do You Do When You Don't?

Anybody who has known me for very long will know how much I hate fake things.  I'm not too partial on the matter either.  Fake plants to fake jewelry to fake love - just don't bother!  To me, the real thing is worth the effort and the fake things just aren't.  I've killed many a plant in my lifetime but I feel so good about myself with the ones I sustain.  So, as a quick summary, to me fake=bad.  So, then what do you do when faking it seems your only option? Today I'm struggling with my emotions and would appreciate it if you would indulge me for a few lines.  Let me explain.

Love.  Whether you're talking about a spouse, friend or your body, how do you handle not at all loving what is in front of you? Say you come face to face with a reality about your spouse that is not lovable in your eyes.  Or a friend betrays you and there isn't a shred of love left in you.  Or the health or weight struggles have not been won and you can't find anything to love about your self.  How do you do (love) when you just don't? Because its not like you can just flip a switch.  You can fake it, sure.  But in my mind fake =  bad.  So, what can you do?

I know there are a lot of things you can do and not feel all the nice feelings.  But sometimes that is the absolute hardest for me.  I want to feel the feelings and when I don't, autopilot takes over in search for good feelings, not healthy thought processes or wise choices.  So, the first thing I need to do is hijack autopilot sit still for a minute.  Prayer for a peaceful heart and a wiser autopilot is a must.  Then, what? Here's where I get stuck because the best thing I can come up with is to let it go.  Let it go and put your energy into something productive.  Do something loving or do something productive until you can do something loving.  This seems superficial and like I'm missing the bigger picture today.  Any thoughts?

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