Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Call Me Irresponsible

I have made a lot of decisions in my life and many of them were made for the wrong reasons. Fear has always been a better motivator to me than anything else and that is evident by the string of paths I quit just shy of completing. That fact was the inspiration for the title of this blog. The quote underneath it is a reminder for me that even though I have much regret about all of that, the reason I quit to begin with was me not knowing how to grow. To me, having a yard full of mistakes is okay if I'm heading in the direction of growth.

The simplest projects or decisions can be ambushed by the past before you even realize it. Shame from just not being farther in life has stopped me from pursuing friendships or taking advantage of opportunities when offered to me. The regret and discomfort of what I didn't accomplish or how I ran from difficult things seemed to push me back into my chair, convincing me that four walls were safer than facing the past. It turns out, the past doesn't usually need to be faced, but just let go of. I hope you haven't been holding on to old demons for as long as I have, but if you have, trust me when I tell you how good it feels to flush them down the toilet and move on with my life.

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