Tuesday, June 24, 2008
For all of my thoughts spent obsessing about understanding personality and personal growth, I've come to realize that I have done very little of either. After 28 years of life, I have had my share of depression, weight gain, anxiety, failures and personal tragedy, that to some might not seem significant, but as always, what matters most is how I experienced it. And, unfortunately, much of it felt tragic. On a happy note, I have found much joy in my life as well. I now have a wonderful husband, two beautiful dogs, a part-time job that is worthwhile, and the world waiting for me at my doorstep, so to speak. As to honor such joy that has found me, it is my burden and responsibility to let go of the tragic pain that I have stuffed in the corners of my heart, hoping it would dissolve like cotton candy. I have broken through all of the adolescent mantras that strapped me down (You're too sensitive, You're too fat, You're not pretty, He will never love you for you, unless you is perfect, You're too much, You can't, etc.), but I guess the world forgot to tell my soul. So, I must learn how to grow past the lies that I have believed for so long and learn what the world is really like.