Saturday, September 12, 2020

Resolution: The Only Way To End a FIght

 As the cold front hit our house, jackets were pulled out and trace memories of last winter hovered in our minds.  This year is weighted down with surreal living, there's just no way around it.  The blast of cold air and rainy days we're in the middle of is comforting like a child's familiar blanky.  It almost convinces you that life is normal again.  I'm thankful for it, but it immediately makes me think new normal which then makes me want to throw up a little bit.  Our country may be fighting about a lot of things, but I think we can all agree that we're tired of all this and ready for it to calm down.  The trouble with calming down a fight is that it often requires somebody to admit they were wrong and tend to the concerns of the person they are fighting.  That isn't something we see a lot of right now in our country.

Admitting you are wrong can be really hard.  Recognizing you are wrong is even harder sometimes.  This year we have really been hit hard with sensationalized rhetoric and guilt-trips galore (or what 2020 calls virtue signaling, I think).  We are all guilty of getting wrapped up in a fight or a cause that we should have just left alone.  Personally and publicly our words can get away from us before we take enough time to consider all sides.  Recently, I grew very convicted about something.  I knew my conviction was based on truth.  And so I opened my mouth, with conviction and truth on my side.  At least that's how it felt.  And ever so quickly, the domino had fallen and regret filled every cell of my body.  There's always more to a story.  Perspective doesn't always come right away.  The good and the bad are mixed in together a lot so it's tough to call without extensive investigation.  It's easy to look through our own lens, but it's much harder to understand someone else's.  

Transitions are happening and will continue over the next year - some back to normal, some to an optimistic improvement, but all will require patience and mercy for those involved.  We have learned a lot about ourselves and each other this summer.  Some of us aren't to be trusted.  Some of us are weak.  Some of us have underestimated how important our influence is.  No matter where you find yourself, let's remember that real change happens person to person.  I'm proud to be an Oklahoman where our freedoms are protected far greater than many in our country.  I know some pretty great people who are working to make it stay that way.  However, more than anything it matters how I treat you because how I treat you will stir up something great or could incite a tailspin into something negative.  That is the most important thing I can control.

As the chaos and absurdity of this year isn't yet over, I'm trying to reset my attitude with more humility.  If the last 6 months are any indication, the next two leading up to the election are likely to be insane. And I'm likely to be wrong again.  And so are you.  How we resolve that wrong sets a tone that could resonate for years beyond your death.  Make it a beautiful one.

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