We were counting breaths and watching him like a hawk. Basking in the miracle that he was, but also fearing his uncertain breathing at birth was a sign of something else. Mr. Butler has always loved laying down with his babies and this little Racecar all the more. We hoped and prayed that his breathing would slow down. Ready to embrace normal life with a newborn, I really thought life was about to settle down. His pregnancy had been hard to come by and then hard to live with for me. I had an emergency room scare. Both our cars died - within an hour of each other. He was 10 pounds, y'all! Life had been just, a lot. So, his whirlwind arrival - started labor in transition (PAIN) and then quickly had him out in a couple of giant pushes - seemed to be the cherry on top of a crazy dessert we didn't want again for a while.
Instead, we were only halfway through it. We would panic and pray a zillion times more before it would all be over. Doctor appointments, echoes, emergency room at 9pm, admitted to the hospital, tests, pulse/ox readings, oxygen, breastfeeding with wires everywhere, missing my big kids, sleeping on an uncomfortable couch, pretending to recover from childbirth, sweet visitors, gracious gifts, discovering yet another layer of love for Mr. Butler, sweet smiles from this beautiful little soul that scared us half to death all swirl into this terrifying and beautiful memory I have of this child of mine's first week of life.
This stinker just came too fast and we were too panicked to know any better. He is a beautiful soul who is his daddy through and through. He loves your attention and thrives on your laughter. He loves and never forgets a procedure, whether it is closing a door or how to clean a room. I'm biased of course, but he's so smart - devouring all of our puzzles. For so many reasons beyond the scare he gave us after birth, I was afraid that this little guy would never be or be okay. So, to say I'm happy to celebrate his 3rd birthday this weekend is most certainly and understatement, quarantine or not.
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