Monday, July 15, 2019

Have Your Children Lost Their Magic?

In between the fears and the overwhelming exhaustion, having a child is magical.  Just watching them sleep or listening to them babble is just one of the best things in life.  Fast forward to the 7th fit over dinner or the 10th time you've found clean clothes in the laundry hamper, and their ain't nothing magical about that!  My kids are currently 8 1/2, 6 and 2 which means everyone knows how to walk and talk.  There's no new baby and no more pregnancies.  We've been through the first grandchild on both sides and birthday parties and vacations.  With three kids, things can get hectic and messy and a little mind-numbing, if I'm honest.  All that magic of the beginnings is nowhere to be found some days.  The jaded "Just you wait!" attitude starts to emerge when you encounter a brand new mom that reveals a bit of jealousy mixed with a need for validation that it isn't all your fault.

Those precious babes that brought so much joy and hope to our little naive lives are suddenly the source of our resentment, loss of identity and some mix of extra pounds, wrinkles and gray hair.  It's a harsh reality that few avoid.  Still, there are sweet, sweet moments where that sweet magic glimmers in the hallway strong and pure as ever.  It is those moments that we live for, isn't it?

I'm writing this to propose a theory.  While it seems that, like that newborn smell, the magic eventually fades into few and far between sightings, I am beginning to believe that the magic is something we parents cultivate or quench.  When a child is brand new - especially the first to do things - we are watching so carefully their every move and treating every word as a new revelation!  When the three of them are bickering in the backseat, my head is hurting from the slew of things to be done in the next 36 hours and it starts to rain, seeing the magic of my children may be a tall order.  Life gets hectic and hard. Our precious kids don't lose their magic as much as we just forget how magical they really are.

Like the joy of being newly married fades and must be worked for in order to get back, the fulfillment of children and family requires intentional living.  Here are some ideas for getting that magic back!

1) Own Your Attitude.  Exhaustion. Hormones. Stress. Certain seasons of life really bring out the worst in us.  It's important to recognize how jaded we've become to our precious blessings.  As easy as it can be to blame our kids for everything, we are the person in charge and set the tone for their life.  Until we accept that responsibility, we're going to miss the magic.

2) Slow Down.  Have you sat down and read to your kids with no real schedule or deadline floating in the back of your mind?  What about going outside or playing a game? Kids have such a joy for life when they think you WANT to do life with them.

3) Get To Know Them Again.  It's easy to forget that our children are in a constant state of growth.  That means who they are becoming might not be who we knew them to be a few months ago.  There is so much magic in the things they are thinking and considering, even just in their questions. 

Every time you catch yourself staying grumpy with your children, it's time to do something about it!

No comments:

What Happens If You're Disappointed This Week?

Disappointment is a big issue with kids around.  Every parent will tell you not to say a word about a trip to the zoo or a possible visitor ...