Monday, July 6, 2009

Nice to Meet You


Hi Everyone. My name is Amy Butler and I am introverted and shy. I always get a chuckle or a 'Yeah, right!' from that statement, but it is true. Have you ever learned a skill or displayed an attitude because you thought you were supposed to? As kids a lot of things like that we learn from parents and other adults in our lives. I, subconsciously I guess, always thought I was supposed to be extroverted and outgoing. So, for all of adolescence and first part of adulthood I was. It took me years to see the connection between my 'necessary extroversion' and absolute exhaustion, borderline sickness and withdrawals from my bedroom (where no one else is and I can shut the door). Its no wonder I had panic attacks every so often.
Of course, the experience isn't all bad. I can hold a conversation with most people (eventually). Sometimes I'm funny. That came from the sheer nervousness I felt (feel) in the middle of a group and to cover that up I did what my family does best. (Enter Sarcasm) So, maybe I can make you laugh on occasion and I can make nice. But I'm not your frontman. I'm an analyzer, get to the root of the issue, behind the scenes kind of person. I say that more as a declaration to myself than to inform someone else. Its common for me to feel pressured into 'fronting' something and then wonder why I'm on the verge of tears and falling apart. As much as we'd like them to help us out sometimes, hands just aren't very good ears.

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