The Way We Feel: Why Acknowledging Matters

Do you ever have feelings that you have no business feeling?  Like first world problems that you really want to complain about, but to do so seems incredibly ungrateful and petty?  I have one of those kind of things that I'm going to write about it, but I do put this disclaimer on it:  I am a big feeler of feelings and those feelings last a while and really impact me - for better or worse.  Those feelings are what cause me to write.  In so many cases, I know there are those who suffer far more than me, who are robbed of the things they love and might view my feelings on a matter as petty and ungrateful.  If that is you, please know that I mean no disrespect or flippant response to someone else's circumstance and feel free to ignore this post or others like it.

When I was pregnant the first two times, I worried about things like moms do.  But both of them were fine.  When I was pregnant with the Race Car, I worried a little more, but ultimately expected things to be fine.  When he came furiously fast and had to have oxygen with some chest compressions, it was a little nerve wracking, but short-lived (it only lasted a minute or two).  When his breathing just wouldn't slow down from birth and we had to take him into the emergency room because things weren't getting better, my brain raced to all the places we could go.  In my heart, he died or he had an organ malfunction with need for surgery or medicine his whole life or all sorts of problems I couldn't even imagine.  I felt helpless and terrified, I yo-yo'd from shock to anger to devastation, all while having to be away from my big kids over Easter weekend.  I now know the symptoms of PTSD so well that I can predict television shows' story lines that are building up to it.  In the span of about 2 weeks, I faced dozens of my worst fears completely against my own will (meaning I didn't want him to be sick - of course I was willing to take him because I wanted him to be okay).  Subjecting my newborn baby to poking and prodding, trying to nurse him with wires coming from everywhere and naively trying not to set off alarms.  (We quickly learned how to turn them off and how incredibly unreliable they are on infants.)  And about a month and half after that my dog died which sort of just sealed the deal with the PTSD.  The recovery from that was an entirely different ballgame than just recovering from delivery. 

The good news that makes me sound like a real jerk for even writing about all of this is that my little Race Car is fine now.  He is adorable, smart, has a smile that goes on for days and loves people - especially his people.  He has no health problems and that span of two weeks feels like a fluke now.  But, because I felt all the possibilities and terror of the what-ifs, some days I look at him as though he came back from the dead.  And I crumble with tears and gratitude that he was given back to me, where so many aren't.  Even more of a jerk, I have 3 healthy children when some aren't blessed with any or struggle with all kinds of sickness or setbacks. 

Still, there are a couple of reasons that I even bring all of this up.  For one thing, these events and the feelings I have experienced over the last year have shaped me into a different person, mostly for good.  That is important to be said somewhere other than just in my own head.  I also think in this day of social media comparing (and sometimes bullying) that everyone gives themselves the opportunity to acknowledge their feelings in one way or another.  It's true that I've not had to deal with the death of a child or infertility or disability - and I should always be grateful and respectful with those mercies - but the residual PTSD feelings that I struggled with could have mushroomed into something awful and destructive had they not been addressed in a healthy way.  We live in a time where mental health is not an automatic anymore.  When you are mushed into the middle of not being the best at something and not having the worst problems, it begins to feel like your feelings are irrelevant because they don't trump someone else's.  That's where we begin to destroy ourselves from the inside out.  Like the children that should never be compared because they are vastly different (think fast talking girl and a boy more interested in a ball than talking), the big deals and minor setbacks of our life are going to be different than the next guy's. Let everyone have their feelings and encourage each other to get in a healthy space.



.  In some ways, my little turmoil is minor compared to others who have to struggle with loss or ongoing burdens.  I am so thankful for my little guy and I can't tell you the joy he has brought to our family, but I sincerely feel like I have just fought a war to get here. And I'm just so thankful to have made it out alive!  Whatever you may struggle (and hopefully come out victorious over) with in your life, I pray that you give yourself permission to acknowledge how big of a deal it is to you.  Even if the rest of the world has no interest or need to know, recognize the progress or the pain.  It is usually there that the healing begins.

Comments

Labels

Reading TOSReviewCrew Writing motherhood Healthy Living homeschool curriculum healthy perspective Education Gratitude Reviews Creativity Hard Work book review Jude Comparisons Emotion HSReview Love planning Attitude Expectations HSReviewCrew Exercise Patience Thanksgiving life is hard Choices Contentment Fear Pain Positive Thinking Pregnancy go outside nature Elementary Math Food Pride differences new music Fun Gardening Learning Prayer Stress holidays joy language arts literature reading program Art Christian homeschooling Control Criticism Decisions Fall Finances Giving Up Grace Herbs Memoria Press November Priorities Self Control Strong-Willed Child Success Technology The Herb Garden family time freedom math pictures resolutions Bible Study Birthdays Boundaries Depression Goals Music Nature's Sunshine Negativity Perfection Project Feedback Sports Trust Weight-Loss art curriculum children's books homeschooling learn to read online learning planners respect science time American History Appreciation Assumptions Beauty Blessed Childbirth Cleaning Communication December Friends Girls Giveaway Homeschool Lifestyle Household update Math Worksheets Mindfulness Mr. Butler Non-Toxic Tempera Paint October Reset Phonics Recipes Selfishness Summer The Old Schoolhouse Unit studies What really matters audio drama authenticity childhood cooking creative outlet faith and family grammar homeschool art math practice motivation reading comprehension submission truth 2016 2018 Accepting Adulthood Advent Apologia Being Ready BibleStudy Christian books for kids Christian education Compromise Consistency Facebook Failure Family Update Get Up and Garden Gift Idea GratiTuesday Habits Hands on Heirloom Audio Homeschool Hesitations Homeschool Math Homeschool Math Online Imagination Kids Math Lessons Moderation No nonsense Peace Simplify Snow Spasm Living Together Treehouse Adventures Valentine's Day Works for Me Worry Year Round Schooling art supplies building healthy families celebrating chaos classical education copywork cursive disagreeing do better friendship geography group dynamics handwriting happy birthday home homeschool curriculum for science hope kwik stix language arts curriculum let them play literature curriculum loss makeadifference mental health poetry politics reality check scheduling seasons skills social media spelling tempera paint vacation wisdom 2015 2019 ABC Books ADHD Addiction Adolescence April Beginning Bible Bible Stories Bible Study Curriculum By the Way Books Carole P. Roman Critical Thinking Curriculum Death Dyslexia Engineering Extroversion Faith Fighting Frisbee Golf Getting Things Done God God's Will GrapevineStudy Guilt High School Math Hiking History Homeschool Adventure Homeschool Math Courses Humility Hurry Importance Influence Introvert Lap book Laughter Maintenance Math Curriculum Math help Mess Free Middle School Math Molly Green Momentum Moving Needs Opposites Play Preparation Preschool Curriculum Printable worksheets Productive Parenting Proverbs Saying No Schoolhouse Magazine Sculpture Self-reflection Spring Suffering Support Traditions Zoo active learning active listening animals anxiety art for kids artistic pursuits audio book audio books baby baseball be different book series books budget busy camping classical curriculum community conflict crafty classroom creation science devotional discoveries do hard things dogs easier way elementary practice worksheets elementary science entertainment focus on the family handwriting practice handwriting worksheets homeschool Spanish homeschool crafts homeschool resources honesty horse girls intentional parenting judgement judging learn Spanish learning lifestyle living on purpose math activities math seeds media mercy music appreciation new normal new year no mess online classes online math organization outside parenthood penmanship piano preschool pressure printables radio drama radio theater reading eggs relationship with God school year self-discipline sensitivity siblings sign language simpleabundance slow down spanish for kids state history transcripts travel books for kids writing prompt 2010 2020 30 39 4th of July 8 weeks A Little Princess ACTÍVA ADD Abuse Acapella Adult Literacy Affiliate Links Aldens Algebra Allergies Amazon Applesauce Apps Audio Missionary Drama Ben Folds Bible Action Figures Bible Printables Bible Study for Kids Bible Summary Sheets Biblical Worldview Bill Cosby Birth Stories Brinkman Adventures Building Calculus CelluClay Channies Charlotte Mason Children's Bible Children's Stories Christian Christian audio Christian audio drama Christian books Christian language arts Classical Rhetoric Comic Book Bible Comprehension Convenience Courage Date night Dave Stotts David C Cook Day and Night Decorating Despicable Me Diapers Doing Good Drive Thru History Dusty's Trail ELA worksheets ESL Earth Science Elementary Homeschool Courses Elf English curriculum Essential Oils Essential Skills Advantage Exaggerating Excuses Exhaustion Fast Drying Favorites Focus Freebies Frustration G A Henty G.A. Henty Geometry George Herbert God schooling God's glory Golden Sunrise Good Deals Grapevine Study Gross Hannah Elise Haydn Healthy November Challenge Herb Talk Hey Mama Holiday Holiday gifts Holy Spirit Homeschool Parent Support Homeschool Planners Homeschool Science House IXL Ideas Inspiration Inventors Jewel Box Theatre John Mayer Keith Lancaster Kidzaw Kingdom files Latin Laundry Lay Off Learning Dynamics Lemongrass Letter of the Week Life Science Lizzie Local Flavor Losing Lymph Gland Cleanse-Hy Magic Stix Master Kitz Math Curriculum Online Math Learning Gaps Math Mini Courses Math Video Lessons Math videos Maths Games Matt Koceich Mattie Richardson McGuffey lesson plans Memorization Michael Buble Middle School Homeschool Courses Missionary Stories My School Year New Skills Nonfiction Obama Obligation Old West Online Electives Options Paddington Paul Physical Science Pickerman's Picta Dicta Planet 316 Power Praise and Harmony Pre-Kindergarten Problems Progress Psalm 136 Queen Esther Remember Resource Response Resurrection Richard Louv Rightnow Media Rigid Wrap Romans STEM Sacrifices Sara Bareilles SchoolhouseTeachers.com Schoolhouseteachers Science worksheets Scripture Self Care Self-pity Sensory Integration Sentence She and Him Shy Silly Sing-Off Singapore Math Smartick Spanish for homeschoolers Specials Stability Sunday morning Talents Tales of a Messy Mom Tea Party Techie Homeschool Mom Tempera Temporary Tennessee The Action Bible The Beginner's Bible The Boxcar Children Theme Thin Stix Toddlers Transitions Trigonometry True Stories Trust Fund USA Valerian root Value Vincent Van Gogh Weight Weird World Book Wulf the Saxon Year of Preparation Zeezok Publishing Zooey Deschanel a capella abecedarian accidents activity pak adult coloring book adventure ages 7-10 alaska alphabet alphabet notebook amazing grace anatomy and Arithmetic Before Kindergarten!™ anger animal shelter anniversary answered prayer appaloosy arkansas art education art history art online art video lessons astronomy audio theater audio theatre aveda average baking bias bike biographies biographies for kids blocks blocks for kids boxcar classics breaks building words busy moms calvin and hobbes captain sun career chapter books character character building children's mental health chores church circumstances clues color code colorado comic book commitment comparison compassion consistancy cooking unit studies counseling creation creative writing crosswired dad daily grams daughters decoding detective disappointment do good drama drawing letters dread dreams early reader easy grammar eclectic education educational games educational toys effort elementary printables elementary worksheets emotional neglect encouragement endurance entrepreneurship experiments expression facing fears faith-based books faith-based film family board games feelings fence field trip fiery darts first things first fitting in forbrain freezer cooking meal plan freezer cooking plan freezer meal prep friendship reset games geography games goal setting grades K-6 great composers great things grief happiness harvest hate health helping heritage higasfy history unit studies holiday unit studies home school in the woods homemaking homeschool planning homeschool reading homeschool rescue homeschool success story homeschooling curriculum homeschooling lifestyle homeschoool curriculum honor horses in history how to homeschool humilty identity imagine books imagine series important things insecurity internet internet accountability internet accountable software internet monitoring k-12 homeschooling kid activity kid entrepreneur kids art supplies kids crafts kindness labels language development language immersion learn piano learning methods lessonslearned letter shapes letter sounds liberty library life timelines literacy living books math skills meal plan mind over matter mondays money management money skills mothering mourning movie review multiplication multisensory music curriculum music exploration music matters music notation mystery no odor markers old fashioned curriculum online reading program orphans overcoming struggles paper crafts paper mache phoneme awareness physiology piano lessons picture book pirate unit studies podcasts poems poetry analysis politicians popularity pornography praise God praiseworthy prodigal story purpose puzzles radio radio theatre reacting read aloud reading skills reading strategies real books real talk rebellion record keeping recovery relaxed homeschooling report cards research review crew safe space sanity science curriculum screen time september sewing sincerity singing single sleuth snowflakes social studies solitude spanish speech fluency spiritual spirulina standards story bible struggle study guide study skills stumbling block superheroes teaching cursive letters television the Gospels thinking third grade time management tired tosmag tradition traditional spelling training travel the world treasure tree house trees trials typing tutor unschooling vacation. family time values violence virtue vocabulary volunteer washable markers weather who is books who was books who was series; who is series wholesome books for kids wooden building blocks wooden toys words work at home work together workbooks worksheets world geography writing prompts
Show more

Looking for something?

Popular Posts