Sunday, February 6, 2011


Most people don't like to think about death.  I don't either, but sometimes I get caught up in it.  My vicious relationship with fear leads me to prepare for that which I fear - usually an unknown.  And in some ways, what's more unknown than death? From all sides, it just has a hard time feeling good.  Separation, loss, and all the unknown makes for a dreary disposition.  But, I'm on a 'let's deal with it as it is' kick instead of pining over what I wish it was.  So, in light of the reality that our life and the lives around us will one day end here on earth, shouldn't that affect how we live?

Whether you are thinking about your spiritual readiness or just what kind of regrets are you comfortable having, we have to think beyond the physical feelings of right now.  Will I regret all the time I spent on my electronic device of choice?  Will I regret those camping trips?  In light of the fact that our days together are numbered, is it ok with me that I've continued to say hateful things to my husband or gossiped about friends? And I guess this is what really gets me: When I look back on the life of my child's (future children) time in our home, will I be proud of how we spent it? Did my life teach him good things about God? Did we really live and love or was it spent near the edge of exasperation all the time?

I've spent a lot of time running away from things and trying to comfort myself with physical things.  And I DO regret it and have very little to show for it.  Now that January is gone and the season of resolutions is about up, I am convicted to spend less time on things that just tread water.  Treading water is wonderful in crisis or just trying to survive.  But that isn't or at least shouldn't be the state we live in continually.  I want to feel satisfaction and peace about death.  The only way I can see to do that is to live vibrantly and purposefully for God which includes living daily the things I want to be proud of when my life is over.
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