Monday, November 29, 2010

And We're Back

Isn't it bizarre when your life changes in a huge way, whether for the better or worse, and the world just keeps on turning, almost as if nothing happened?  Your part of the world will never be the same, but still winter keeps coming and everywhere else is business as usual.  It's surreal, let me tell you.

On Wednesday, November 10 at 7:29 p.m., Jude Xavier Butler was born and each day holds a little bit more meaning than the day before.  I was blessed to be able to have him at home in the environment I wanted and thankful that he is so healthy and strong!  This is not the case with many people and feel so indebted to God for such an answer to prayer!  It's definitely the coolest thing I've ever done!

Even though Randy went back to work last Monday, since he was off for Thanksgiving, today is the beginning of a real 'back to normal' week, as if that will ever really exist again!  I love new beginnings, like the start of a school year or new year's resolutions and having him feels like the best kind!  It promises to increase my writing and deepen my discipline.   If you think of it, please pray for us in the coming weeks that we establish healthy bonds and routines that will benefit all of us, but especially Jude in the future.

And before you go, let me share with you the oddest statement I've yet to make.  Here are some pictures of my son - emphasis on MY SON!  It is so bizarre to think that I have a son, but nonetheless here he is at 2 weeks old.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Getting What You Ask For

Happy November!  I love this time of year! Not everyone does, I know, but you have to admit there are several really great things about November.  Changing leaves are beautiful and fun to hear crunch when you walk.  Even if you don't like the cold, a break from the heat is nice.  And Thanksgiving! I think that says enough, don't you? :)

Along the lines of thankfulness and appreciating what you've been given, how often do you get exactly what you ask for?  In my own life, I think I get exactly what I ask for more than I realize.  Don't our desires and expectations for something often stay buried and our actually asking, of God or others, produces the polite things to say?  And who is to say that's wrong a lot of times?  We live in a world of too many wants that are extreme or unnecessary.  But, I was thinking about some of the blessings in my life that I really appreciate right now (like a husband who will do 2 weeks worth of grocery shopping, make dinner, dessert and clean up) and it occurred to me.  Many of those things I asked for.  Many of the things that have disappointed or been mediocre were in fact exactly what I asked for also.

I'm told my grandmother used to say that "If all you want is to get married, ANYBODY can get married."  As teenagers and single adults, or at least the female ones, this is a topic that comes up over and over. And I've known people who 'just wanted to get married' and when they did, all they got was a husband.  Not love, not companionship, but just another set of problems.  My point isn't about marriage as much as it is clarifying what our desires really are and making sure to ask accordingly.  Do we limit each other and God by only asking for surface things?  Not that I realized what I was doing at the time, but as a young girl and beyond, I always prayed for a genuine love in a husband.  I despised fake things and if it was going to be halfway or empty, I didn't want it. And growing, I always wanted to grow (again, didn't know what kind of a load I was asking for, ha!) and not just live life on the surface.  With the included thorns and all, I can say I've been blessed with exactly what I asked for.  Though, honestly I didn't plan or welcome those thorns.

Sometimes we ask for the best, only to be disappointed in what it takes to receive the best.  Sometimes we ask for mediocrity, only to be disappointed in the quality of our gift.  In both cases, though, we get what we ask for.  Neither is to be despised, but appreciated for what they are - exactly what we requested.  I guess in my brain sometimes there is a disconnect between what my heart is thinking and what actually makes it to my lips.  My body assumes the two are connected so if an idea is present in one, it should automatically be in the other. The trouble is, they rarely are.

The lesson I need to learn:
If I want more, ask for it.  Then expect to work for it.
If I don't want to ask for more/work for it, don't be disappointed when it isn't lavished upon me.