"No struggle will come your way apart from God's purpose, presence, and permission." -Max Lucado
Last night Randy was late coming home from work because of a special event they were having on base. I'm not one to care that much if he's late unless we have plans of some kind. Well, yesterday was Wednesday and in order to make our rounds on time, we need to leave the house by 6:15. He hadn't been available by phone since 10:00 a.m. and by the time 6:00 rolled around I started to worry. Not a good thing in general but certainly not when you're pregnant. Since he has NEVER been this late without calling before, between 6 and 6:25 I managed to work myself into a panic, complete with tears. Everything was of course fine. He hadn't had his phone with him, wasn't in a position to leave and didn't realize how late it was. Just one of those things.
The reason I'm sharing this incident is because it demonstrates a lack of faith. I prayed for Randy's safety, but I still allowed myself to react as though something had happened to him. And isn't that what worrying is most of the time? What if this happens or maybe that will be a problem? Though I'm as guilty as the next guy, the incident above reminded me that worry - especially panicky worry - is not faith. Not at all. Even though our emotions have a hard time accepting the realities sometimes, the quote above is true. God's purpose, presence and/or permission is always at work in the things we face. If I can honestly believe that, then the panic and worry should subside into peace. God's will for me is safe and secure. Of course, I'm not criticizing grief or emotional reactions to life's struggles. But the preemptive panic and worry that is usually ignoring God's control of all things - that's what can run rampant and ultimately only borrow trouble.
And while I need to trust God's will and protection of Randy much more, I did make it very clear to Randy that from now until the baby comes, he should never be without that phone! :) And in honor of our 4th wedding anniversary, here's one of my favorite songs with a couple of pretty good singers.