Tuesday, February 2, 2010

What is a Goal Worth?

If you have always done it that way, it is probably wrong. - Charles Kettering

I don't think I can attest to the truthfulness of this quote, but it made me laugh.  And for a lot of things, it might be more true than I'd like to admit.  How many bad habits remain because we've 'just always done it that way' and changing would be hard?  Don't get me wrong - change for changing sake isn't a good reason to do much of anything.  But, refusing to grow because 'it's too hard' or 'I've never had to before' aren't good reasons to stay miserable.

If you're not miserable, then great. Disregard what I'm saying, because what you're doing is most likely working for you.  But, myself, I have sought out growth because I was miserable - unhappy with mediocrity, uncomfortable with my relationship with the world, and unsatisfied with my pace.  I tend to be a little dramatic at times, so take it for what it's worth, but my point is this: If you're unhappy with a circumstance that you're somewhat in control of, but refuse to try change, then it's your own fault.  My adolescence and young adult life was littered with so many complicating factors that I would blame my dissatisfaction on all of that, but it was a lie, really. There was never a real commitment to making lasting changes. I wanted to be better, different, happier, more, but refused to really consider changes.

In the past 3 or 4 months, Randy and I have had a similar interaction.  He tells me of a situation and I offer my solution.  He looks at me with perplexity and frustration, saying "Has that ever been a good solution to that before? You have offered that multiple times, but it never is what is needed."  I have, so to speak, continued to run into a brick wall, knowing it was a wall and knowing I wouldn't get anywhere.  I'm realizing that the change that needs to happen in me (to improve that interchange with him) is a commitment to embracing it differently, something that subconsciously I just didn't think I should have to do.

Sometimes a goal isn't worth all the sacrifice.  Living on the moon isn't worth leaving your family, Ernie says.  But when the goal is worthy, maybe change is what needs to happen.


Anonymous said...

I love this song. When it comes on PBS I am always so happy. (You know it's the little things for me)
Thanks so much for posting this song and your words for growth. I have had a hard time since starting back to school with the idea that it is OK for me to grow and change in this manner. But, not only is it OK, it is necessary for the well being of my family. Thank you so much Amy for being you. Alisa

Amy Butler said...

I've been trying to be somebody else but it just wouldn't stick. So thanks for liking what I'm stuck with! :)

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