So, I wrote. I put down words to explain what I was feeling, why I was feeling that way and what I was afraid of happening. All the possibilities of failure or rejection just spilled onto the page. With every passing word, the pressure I felt in my brain started to drain out. This processing of my emotions and worries clarified what was actually valuable and what was trash built on lies and fear. Over thinking - for me - often happens at the speed of light. The new information sparks multiple rabbit trails that I can barely keep up with much less recognize their falsehood. When I write, I am slowing those thoughts down enough to truly consider them and hopefully reject the ones that aren't helpful.
As soon as I was finished writing all I had to say on the matter, I was good. The small possibilities of negative outcomes were put into their proper context. The positive aspects of the news were free to be celebrated. And emotionally and physically I was lighter. I didn't have to carry around this toxic bag of fear and worry which can viciously disrupt my life.
You may never pen plays for Broadway or poetry for the ages, but writing to gain a better attitude and mental state - especially in this age of chronic depression and anxiety - is worth it!
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