Design Flaw or User Error?: Giving Up Too Easy

I woke up late, already behind on the needs of the day.  Then a chain reaction occurs where the priorities pile up, children demanding attention, deadlines come and go, and all I want to do is hide and cry.  The temptation is to instead invest too much time into a better plan or routine.  Perhaps I just haven't found the right approach or mindset.  So, google and pinterest become my best friend.  Or I decide that I need a new planner or labeler.  Suddenly, I HAVE to go to Target or Hobby Lobby.  Time has gotten away from me, but at least I have a new plan, right?

This scenario or some version of it has been part of my response for years, probably a couple of decades now.  I love January first because it's the ultimate do-over.  Start fresh with a new approach or at least new colors!  And there is nothing wrong with giving yourself a boost with new office supplies.  Seriously, it's fun and motivating so please don't mistake me as saying revamping your approach is a bad idea.  What I'm afraid of is the purpose it plays in my life.  Not as much of a helper as much as a distraction.

When there's too much to do and not enough time to do it, I want to say the system is broken.  Sitting down and doing as much as you can despite the sand running out feels icky and wrong.  In reality, it is called perfectionism.  I passionately desire things to go and work beautifully, as they were designed to do.  When they don't, it must be a design flaw, not a user error.  Getting a new 'design' might help a few things or perk up my mood, but it doesn't truly address the problem.  The problem of getting my hands dirty and working hard anyway, even when it doesn't suit my preference.

This is a real, daily struggle for me sometimes, just in balancing housework, children and showering!  But I think it may be a problem for us in bigger proportions.  When working with other people, in families, in congregations, in projects of just about any kind, how often do we get distracted and convicted that the only way to continue is to change the design, get new people or get everyone new office supplies, so to speak?  Working together with certain people who are so different than us is hard.  It takes patience, a lot of self-control, and more humility than we're typically willing to give.  So much more that we don't usually stick around long enough to try.  Get a new planner! Label things differently! Maybe that will make this easier, we think.  The truth for me is that I don't like it when things don't work perfectly.  I don't like having to adjust, accommodate or give up anything.  So, I blame the system or circumstances and try to make a different one.  That might not be so bad if it worked.  But here I am 20 years later and it still doesn't always get things done or prevent imperfect events.

We give up too easy.  It's really that simple.  If you find yourself frustrated with someone (a friend, a leader, a group of people, etc.) or a circumstance (health/weight, sin, debt, etc.), it is probably terribly tempting to blame the system or people out of your area of control or influence.  But they probably are not the problem.  We can argue about it, but in most situations, the problem is you.  I want it to be easy more than I want it to be.   After J was born, I struggled to lose my baby weight.  I struggled a lot.  And I blamed a lot of things for too long as the cause.  The truth was that I didn't want to work as hard as it took.

Whenever you decide to make a change toward something easier, consider that as a warning sign.  It might not mean the easier thing is bad, but you can count on it meaning you're trying to distract yourself from a deeper problem.  Even if you make a change, and it is a great change, it's foolish to ignore what brought you to make a change in the first place.  



Reading TOSReviewCrew Writing motherhood Healthy Living homeschool curriculum healthy perspective Education Gratitude Reviews Hard Work book review Creativity Jude Comparisons Emotion HSReview Love planning Attitude Expectations HSReviewCrew Exercise Patience Thanksgiving life is hard Choices Contentment Fear Pain Positive Thinking Pregnancy nature Elementary Math Food Pride differences go outside new music Fun Gardening Learning Prayer Stress holidays joy language arts literature reading program Art Christian homeschooling Control Criticism Decisions Fall Finances Giving Up Grace Herbs Memoria Press November Priorities Self Control Strong-Willed Child Success Technology The Herb Garden freedom math pictures resolutions Bible Study Birthdays Boundaries Depression Goals Music Nature's Sunshine Negativity Perfection Project Feedback Sports Trust Weight-Loss family time homeschooling learn to read online learning planners respect science time American History Appreciation Assumptions Beauty Blessed Childbirth Cleaning Communication December Friends Girls Giveaway Homeschool Lifestyle Household update Math Worksheets Mindfulness Mr. Butler Non-Toxic Tempera Paint October Reset Phonics Recipes Selfishness Summer The Old Schoolhouse Unit studies What really matters art curriculum audio drama authenticity childhood children's books cooking faith and family grammar homeschool art math practice motivation reading comprehension submission truth 2016 2018 Accepting Advent Apologia Being Ready BibleStudy Christian books for kids Christian education Compromise Consistency Facebook Failure Family Update Get Up and Garden Gift Idea GratiTuesday Habits Heirloom Audio Homeschool Hesitations Homeschool Math Homeschool Math Online Imagination Kids Math Lessons Moderation No nonsense Peace Simplify Snow Spasm Living Together Treehouse Adventures Valentine's Day Works for Me Worry Year Round Schooling art supplies celebrating chaos classical education copywork creative outlet cursive disagreeing do better friendship group dynamics handwriting happy birthday home homeschool curriculum for science hope kwik stix language arts curriculum let them play literature curriculum loss makeadifference mental health poetry politics reality check scheduling seasons skills social media spelling tempera paint vacation wisdom 2015 2019 ABC Books ADHD Addiction Adolescence Adulthood April Beginning Bible Bible Stories Bible Study Curriculum By the Way Books Critical Thinking Curriculum Death Dyslexia Engineering Extroversion Faith Fighting Frisbee Golf Getting Things Done God God's Will GrapevineStudy Guilt Hands on High School Math Hiking History Homeschool Adventure Homeschool Math Courses Humility Hurry Importance Influence Introvert Laughter Maintenance Math Curriculum Math help Mess Free Middle School Math Molly Green Momentum Moving Needs Opposites Play Preparation Preschool Curriculum Printable worksheets Productive Parenting Proverbs Saying No Schoolhouse Magazine Sculpture Self-reflection Suffering Support Traditions Zoo active learning active listening animals anxiety art for kids artistic pursuits audio book audio books baby be different book series books budget building healthy families busy camping classical curriculum community conflict crafty classroom creation science devotional discoveries do hard things dogs easier way elementary practice worksheets elementary science entertainment focus on the family geography handwriting practice handwriting worksheets homeschool Spanish homeschool crafts homeschool resources honesty horse girls intentional parenting judgement judging learn Spanish learning lifestyle living on purpose math activities math seeds media mercy music appreciation new normal new year no mess online classes online math organization outside parenthood penmanship piano pressure printables radio drama radio theater reading eggs relationship with God school year self-discipline sensitivity sign language simpleabundance slow down spanish for kids state history transcripts travel books for kids writing prompt 2010 2020 30 39 4th of July 8 weeks A Little Princess ACTÍVA ADD Abuse Acapella Adult Literacy Affiliate Links Algebra Allergies Amazon Applesauce Apps Audio Missionary Drama Ben Folds Bible Printables Bible Study for Kids Bible Summary Sheets Biblical Worldview Bill Cosby Birth Stories Brinkman Adventures Building Calculus Carole P. Roman CelluClay Channies Charlotte Mason Children's Bible Children's Stories Christian Christian audio Christian audio drama Christian books Christian language arts Classical Rhetoric Comprehension Convenience Courage Date night Dave Stotts Day and Night Decorating Despicable Me Diapers Doing Good Drive Thru History Dusty's Trail ELA worksheets ESL Earth Science Elementary Homeschool Courses Elf English curriculum Essential Oils Essential Skills Advantage Exaggerating Excuses Exhaustion Fast Drying Favorites Focus Freebies Frustration G A Henty G.A. Henty Geometry George Herbert God schooling God's glory Golden Sunrise Good Deals Grapevine Study Gross Hannah Elise Haydn Healthy November Challenge Herb Talk Hey Mama Holiday Holiday gifts Holy Spirit Homeschool Parent Support Homeschool Planners Homeschool Science House IXL Ideas Inspiration Inventors Jewel Box Theatre John Mayer Keith Lancaster Kidzaw Kingdom files Lap book Latin Laundry Lay Off Learning Dynamics Lemongrass Letter of the Week Life Science Lizzie Local Flavor Losing Lymph Gland Cleanse-Hy Magic Stix Master Kitz Math Curriculum Online Math Learning Gaps Math Mini Courses Math Video Lessons Math videos Maths Games Matt Koceich Mattie Richardson McGuffey lesson plans Memorization Michael Buble Middle School Homeschool Courses Missionary Stories My School Year New Skills Nonfiction Obama Obligation Old West Online Electives Options Paddington Paul Physical Science Pickerman's Picta Dicta Planet 316 Power Praise and Harmony Pre-Kindergarten Problems Progress Psalm 136 Remember Resource Response Resurrection Richard Louv Rightnow Media Rigid Wrap Romans STEM Sacrifices Sara Bareilles Schoolhouseteachers Science worksheets Scripture Self Care Self-pity Sensory Integration Sentence She and Him Shy Silly Sing-Off Singapore Math Smartick Spanish for homeschoolers Specials Spring Stability Sunday morning Talents Tales of a Messy Mom Tea Party Techie Homeschool Mom Tempera Temporary Tennessee The Beginner's Bible Theme Thin Stix Toddlers Transitions Trigonometry True Stories Trust Fund USA Valerian root Value Vincent Van Gogh Weight World Book Wulf the Saxon Year of Preparation Zeezok Publishing Zooey Deschanel a capella abecedarian accidents adult coloring book ages 7-10 alaska alphabet alphabet notebook amazing grace anatomy and Arithmetic Before Kindergarten!™ anger animal shelter anniversary answered prayer appaloosy arkansas art education art history art online art video lessons astronomy audio theater audio theatre aveda average baking baseball bias bike biographies biographies for kids blocks blocks for kids breaks building words busy moms calvin and hobbes captain sun career chapter books character character building children's mental health chores church circumstances color code colorado comic book commitment comparison compassion consistancy cooking unit studies counseling creation creative writing crosswired dad daily grams daughters decoding disappointment do good drama drawing letters dread dreams easy grammar eclectic education educational toys effort elementary printables elementary worksheets emotional neglect endurance entrepreneurship experiments expression facing fears faith-based books faith-based film feelings fence field trip fiery darts first things first fitting in forbrain freezer cooking meal plan freezer cooking plan freezer meal prep friendship reset goal setting grades K-6 great composers great things grief happiness harvest hate helping heritage higasfy history unit studies holiday unit studies homemaking homeschool planning homeschool reading homeschool rescue homeschool success story homeschooling curriculum homeschooling lifestyle honor horses in history how to homeschool humilty identity imagine books imagine series important things insecurity internet internet accountability internet accountable software internet monitoring k-12 homeschooling kid activity kid entrepreneur kids art supplies kids crafts kindness labels language development language immersion learn piano learning methods lessonslearned letter shapes letter sounds liberty library life timelines literacy living books math skills meal plan mind over matter mondays money management money skills mothering mourning movie review multiplication multisensory music curriculum music exploration music matters music notation no odor markers old fashioned curriculum online reading program overcoming struggles paper crafts paper mache phoneme awareness physiology piano lessons picture book pirate unit studies podcasts poems poetry analysis politicians popularity pornography praise God praiseworthy preschool prodigal story purpose puzzles radio radio theatre reacting read aloud reading skills reading strategies real books real talk rebellion record keeping recovery relaxed homeschooling report cards research review crew safe space sanity science curriculum screen time september sewing siblings sincerity singing single snowflakes social studies solitude spanish speech fluency spiritual spirulina standards story bible struggle study guide study skills superheroes teaching cursive letters television the Gospels thinking third grade time management tired tosmag tradition traditional spelling training typing tutor unschooling vacation. family time values violence virtue vocabulary volunteer washable markers weather who is books who was books who was series; who is series wholesome books for kids wooden building blocks wooden toys words work at home work together workbooks worksheets writing prompts
Show more

Looking for something?

Popular Posts