Saturday, January 30, 2010

Learning to Grow

The tag line to this blog is a quote from Oscar Wilde that says "We teach people how to remember, we never teach them how to grow."  It has been a favorite of mine for a really long time.  Mostly because I identified with it - I wasn't sure how to grow.  Some days I wondered if it were possible for everyone to grow, finding myself discouraged at myself or others' seeming inability to change. ever.

This month I turned 30, a significant milestone when counting years I suppose.  With age, one of the most difficult things to swallow is regrets and what's worse are those that cannot be altered in any way.  My family had a dog, Chelsea, one I begged for and named, that the thought of makes my heart well up with pain.  We never played with her.  Mom was the one that fed her usually.  Then, when we moved, we sent her to live with some friends of ours, thinking we would get her back eventually, but never visited her again and she passed away a few years ago.  That's a regret that I can do nothing about.  I try to make up for it a little bit by caring for Randy and I's two dogs, Lizzie and Grace, deeply but it does relatively nothing for my regret.


Thankfully, there are other regrets that can be nullified and given new life.  Mastering a skill, mending a relationship,  or changing an attitude are doable things in life!  I didn't always think so.   When I first stumbled onto Wilde's quote, I was painfully aware of my failings and felt incapable of ever changing certain things.  The thought that maybe I could change I just didn't know how yet was a ray (though melodramatic one) of hope for me.  Since that time, I have pursued growth in many directions.  Saying that I have 'changed' is probably too bold and not even relevant, really.  Instead, what I have stumbled upon is the practice of learning how to grow.  And it is this pursuit of growth that I feel is worth considering for more than a moment.